For each measure of this life
there are four quarter notes that fit.
Reaching beyond ledger lines,
beyond the grave,
from Los Angeles to Berlin,
stopping in Paris for
a few bars.
Yes.
Sometimes, I sing
in harmony with low-register flats;
other days I hit
Whitney's sharps.
Somedays, Cassie's bullet
resonates within my ear;
other days, I'm lamenting
with the 4077th;
or singing farewell
to Glenda on Broadway.
For each measure of this life
there are four quarter notes that fit.
Different keys and different melodies;
all within my range.
Author notes
POW
Theme: The many songs on my playlist, and how all of them tie in to some part of me.
A risky poem, perhaps for the PO, but it's the best poem that I've written lately.
Among the many musicians/songs refrenced here are:
Whitney Houston
"Cassie" by Flyleaf
"Suicide is Painless" by Johnny Mandel (M*A*S*H* Theme)
"For Good" from the musical "Wicked"
My playlist
http://view.playlist.com/12399968011
In a list
A contest entry
- Poem of the Week - POW - by Arkbear.
1000 points, ended October 18, 2008, 6 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
CONSTRUCTIVE criticism is most welcome.
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Hi Zach!
I remember commenting on this poem. My comment disappeared!
I love how you use music as a metaphor for life. This works very well as a sustained metaphor. I enjoyed the images and descriptiveness of this poem, and have nothing to critique on it negatively.
My scores will follow!
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i loved this poem and to me theres music in everything so i totally relate adn to reference Flyleaf one of my fav bands is points you really pulled the trigger on this one and the words and visuals work really excellent. Good luck in the contest
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thank you
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Hi Zach, it's good to see you in a POW!
This is one of those poems that I believe will resonate loudly in many readers. I love the simple but effective way you've walked us through these different "measures" of your life, and while I wasn't familiar with all of the music you referenced, I knew enough of them to see the differences in each.
The only issues I had with the poem are ones already mentioned: the "yes" sitting all alone with no discernable reason for it to be there, and "someday", which should be two words. The only other area it might not get top scores is in theme, if only because I've seen so many writes on this subject. However...the creativity and originality can't be questioned, and that works in your favor.
IMHO this is one of the best poems I've read in quite some time...you've set the bar high in this POW and I wish you good luck with it.
Best wishes,
~J.
Remember...no editing once a judge has commented, until after the contest has ended... -
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Hello, my friend It has been too long.
Thank you for your lavish praise and your supportive tips. Very much appreciated
have fun judging
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Hi there welcome to the POW I to have seen this theme done before and it is not that uncommon to me but non the less I think that you did a good job.The only thing that bothers me in this is the "Yes" being all alone with a period other then that no complaints. My score will appear at the end of the contest. Good luck
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Welcome, Perdu!
I loved this poem! Putting aside all 'nit-picky' remarks, it simply reached out and grabbed me. I've seen a few contests lately which used this prompt, so your theme/topic is not new or unique, but you have certainly treated it with respect and talent.
I love your repetition of the first lines near the closing..they fit perfectly. Your closing lines are golden, IMO.
Now, for the 'nit-picky' parts.. I don't think you need the "yes" line. It's just window-dressing, performing no purpose, and causes a slight stumble in the overall flow of this write. In line 13, 'some days' should be two words.
There is much said on the subject of 'personalizing' a poem; the mentioning of actual names of people or places..but in this case, it works..and is clearly explained in your AN.
This scores high with me. I found it to be fresh, well-crafted, and most enjoyable to read.
My scores will appear with final remarks. Best to you in the contest!
Remember, no editing once a judge has commented. -
Heheh, I like it and could see it all, nice write. Well done and good luck in the contest,
Alex.
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Constructive criticism is not my strong point but I would like to say that this poem held my attention to the last note. I enjoyed the way the music flowed from the words and expressed the writer so well. Good luck in the contest.
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thank you very much
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