I was walking in a crowd when I saw my crush. He’s already in front of me….My gosh! My heart skipped in a beat, and there he is, so near to me that I almost lost my breath. He stared and me and whispered: “ hey, you forgot to close your zipper…” awwww…embarrassing!!!
A contest entry
- Stories- SHORT!!! sweet, and to the point... by worshipchick.
760 points, ended October 28, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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thanks worshipchick
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Haha, classic. Nice write, very real. I enjoyed it. :-) Thanks for entering!
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Mirthryl, thanks for your comment... i really appreciate it...yeah thank u i will edit my work ..thanks again
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Mirthryl, thanks for your comment... i really appreciate it...yeah thank u i will edit my work ..thanks again
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Great title. Nice description of the feelings when you get near someone you have a crush on. You might reword "I could almost lost my breath" to something along the lines of "I could barely breathe" or "I almost lost my breath." Delightful blaze of excitement when he stares at you and whispers...then the embarassing 'woops'! Nicely done!
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hehehe its really embarassing right? i thought he got to propose hahaha...
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