CONFIDENCE FUELS your voice (As MALICIOUSNESS STREAMS throughout mine)

Annoyance pierces my gaze, and you smile unabashed.
The knives of my words lunge at you, but your skin is impenetrable.
Neon signs point out my hatred, yet you remain chanting love is blind.

Confidence fuels your voice,
As maliciousness streams throughout mine.

But my offences don’t affect you,
You only grin wider.
My silent curses fall short of your obscure happiness.
You ignorance astounds me.
but for the slightest of moments,
Your enthusiasm sweeps me off my feet.
And though I shall never admit aloud,
It feels good to be within caring interest.

It is almost like you think I am good enough for your unrequited feelings.
Even though I have not voluntarily given you even a sliver of a reason.

And while my life lacks the passion I crave so much,
Your like a sun, lighting the darkest of moods.
I confess, your appeal (as small as it may be) is genuine.

For I miss the feeling of belonging.
So long have I been left with blacks and greys,
To see colour stuns me.
Leaves me without a path in the longest of roads.

Your joy is impossible
But it is also infectious.
I will walk to school with venom in my comments,
But truthfully, I am hiding from the truth.

For almost as long as my mind dares to remember,
I have been lost.
I can barely grasp who I am,
But you make me see who I want to be,
Who maybe, just maybe, I could be.

I see what I am missing.
I see it with open eyes.
But I shy away from it.

Because despite your eagerness,
your undeniable charm to make me smile in spite of myself,
And the kindness you willingly waste on me;
You are the wrong person.

I could not tell you convincingly that I have the right person.
Does anyone truly know that?
But I can be sure that I have the person correct for me right now
And although his unambitious flaws lay without absence,
I bow in his greatness.
For he is the requirement for my life,
And I have him.

Even though your eyes burn bright with excitement,
And though his occasionally fade to the dullest of shades,
I cant help but love that colour.

You will never hear this heartfelt apology,
But nor do I want you to.
All your ears will perceive is bitterness.
I couldn’t give you the hope, knowingly I’d readily squash it.

For my heart lies with someone else.
It lays with the most beautiful eyes,
The most staggering body,
The most breathtaking face.
And as much as your reaction pains me to say it.
It is not you.