Human ingenuity
exploring God’s mind,
Desiring to match creation
unravelled DNA,
cloning surrogate from cells.
Creating heart for a heart
out of stem cells
resembling spare parts of a machine,
life turning mechanical
defunct replaced!
Small steps science took
giant strides for humanity,
Mysteries of old
disappeared,
destiny held in human hands.
Time is not far off,
designer babies replacing natural
programmed to behave in certain way,
Joys and sufferings then
cease to be feelings,
but binary numbers of computer.
In synthetic world
Sensors substitute sensations,
With shrinking biological life.
Author notes
*pow contest*
Venugopal
"Evolution of science on human beings"
A contest entry
- Poem of the Week - POW - by Arkbear.
1000 points, ended October 18, 2008, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Hi there and welcome to the POW!
I have very mixed feelings about this subject, as I believe there are a lot of good things that have and can come from stem cell research...but like anything, there's a point where it can be taken too far. The scary part to me is, who is to draw that line of what is "acceptable" and what is not? It's very much like playing God as many see it...yet many advances in science and medicine we now take almost for granted, were at one time much more controversial than they are now, from transplants to "test-tube" babies. But, alas, my job is to judge your poem and not merely my gut reaction to it, so that's probably what I should be doing.
I agree with my co-judges and think they've given some fantastic suggestions already, so I really have only a couple things to add. I will say this flows smoother than I've seen in many of your PO writes, and I think that's because you've used a few connective words to bring parts together. Maybe not quite as many as I'd like to see yet, but nicely done, while still allowing for that unique style I see in your work.
The only other things (beyond what my co-judges mentioned) that jumped out at me as being slightly awkward, was the repetition of the word "cells" and "stem cells" in S1 and S2, and thinking the line, "programmed to behave in certain way" might be better as "ways".
I love your ability to bring us poetry that is very thought-provoking, yet handled with respect and care. We have seen this theme a time or two, but I enjoyed it none the less. Should you ever decide to do some tweaking, the ideas Joyce gave about a factory or a designer nursery are especially tantalizing and might be a great way to give this even more impact.
My scores will follow in the final notes of the contest. Thanks so much for joining us again, and remember...no editing once a judge has commented, until after trophies have been awarded.
Best wishes,
~J.
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Hi and Welcome!
My favorite part of this poem is the final stanza.
You tell us about cloning, it's marvels and especially inherent dangers, but there is little imagery in this poem, little to really touch my heart or grab my mind.
I could see a science fiction poem showing the possible dangers or outcomes we might expect to encounter.
Show us a factory making spare parts, or a nursery of designer babies. Trip the light fantastic!
Scores will follow at end of contest.
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Hi there this was an interesting read on a theme that I have seen here before but the way that you have written it gives it so much more and made it a great piece to read it has a few spots that I did stumble over but my brain caught up and after reading it it did not bother me so. My score will appear at the end of the contest. Good luck
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Welcome, Venugopal,
I got a creepy feeling deep inside reading this write.
It is now fact, not fiction..and that is amazing, yet frightening.
The concise manner in which you write lends itself well to this topic, however, I still think you could improve the flow of your writing by 'fleshing out' some of your lines. Also, pay heed to your punctuation. If you use a comma, don't start the next sentence with a capital letter, and vice versa. I found stanza two hard to follow, due to punctuation and word usage, but over all this spoke clearly of a 'new horizon' that we must, inevitably, face.
Good imagery and a chilling message in this write.
My scores will appear with final remarks. Best to you in the contest.
Remember, no editing once a judge has commented.
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Strange how one get a slow chill along the line of the spine when reading about cloning. I am not sure I would like to think that science holds a greater power than the creator, that being said, without science, we would have died many years since
Good luck in the contest 
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so true, we are aeons away in touchin shadow of creator, let alone reaching real. Science is only scratching surface
thank you 'cutiepie'
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a brilliant take on the promt in many ways I personaly think that the mysteries of old should stay there and we should not mess about with things we know nothing about a wonderful poem dad you say so much truth within your words good luck in the contest
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"we should not mess about with things we know nothing about"
how true my wise daughter, If only you were in my presence, I would have learned the wisdom from you, so true
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