She sits above the sea
alone on a rock is she
can’t give herself away
so alone on this rock she shall stay
She dreams of being
a human with legs so fair
to walk along the beaches
and dance in the night air
She sees the lights at night
and hears the music play
and wishes she could join them
just for one single day
But alas, this beautiful mermaid
was not meant to be
among the human folk
but the mermaids in the sea
~Tisha Rene~
alone on a rock is she
can’t give herself away
so alone on this rock she shall stay
She dreams of being
a human with legs so fair
to walk along the beaches
and dance in the night air
She sees the lights at night
and hears the music play
and wishes she could join them
just for one single day
But alas, this beautiful mermaid
was not meant to be
among the human folk
but the mermaids in the sea
~Tisha Rene~
Author notes
I hope you enjoy my new fantasy pieces.
Written January 26th, 2004
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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I love stuff about sirens and mermaids, this was very beautiful and yet had a tinge of saddness in it.
wonderful write, as always.
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well-done
great pic and visuals could really feel the pain of wanting leggs for a min..great flow a fantastic poem kudo's -
That poem was excellent. Iloved it.
from Bridget -
That pic is beautiful!! I love it!! And i love the poem too. It's simple and i like that. It's a perfect childrens poem too i think. I know my little sister would love it. Great job.
Meg. -
awww so sweet and sensual this piece is. yet again i love it.
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great write.
i like it a lot.
keep writing!! -
HMM..Little Mermaid. Sad if you think about it. She only wanted legs to walk and to be like humans. She should be content with what she has but we are never fully happy wiht ourselve. Great Write, Nice Flow
Rock oN
Well done your highness
Derek
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The picture itself is very beautiful. I just keep scrolling back up to stare at it.
Your words seemed to capture the story hiding within very well. I loved the flow and the beat I heard in my head when reading it. Though I do feel slightly sad for the forlorn mermaid unable to be human, even for a day. Thank you for sharing your words of fantasy with us.
~JayLynn
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True, but it's nicer (and harder even) to give a positive review As for the comment, anytime
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No need to be sorry, everyone gets something different out of everyones work. Sometimes it's good sometimes it's not. I do appreciate your comment tho. Hugs and bites, Lady Raven
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With such a simple rhyme scheme the chances of getting the rhyme words to become forced are quite high, and this is a good example in my opinion...they totally distract me from the subject it is trying to discuss...couldn't even finish it..sorry
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very nice write , such a wonderful flow, JP *s*
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oo it's very pretty, i like the pic, and altogether it was lovely. a little simplistic maybe... it lacked a lil depth and plot cuz at the end i was like, "huh? it needs more! where's the rest?" lol but i love fantasy stuff anyways so good job
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nice..its good ..and you wouldnt kill the mermaid..thats a different catagory!!! cool work as usual !! love lisa
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very good
This was pretty Mom, but I thought you would kill the mermaid in the end??????
Nicely written. What I found most interesting though was what was not said. Why life under the sea was so objectionable to make one dream of going to such lengths to change.
A pleasure to read.
John -
This was pretty Mom, but I thought you would kill the mermaid in the end.
Love, Bridget -
You should send this to Disney and make them rewrite The Little Mermaid in poetry. hehe. That would be neat. This is beautiful...great job.
Nikihayami
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