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Found

Missing image

Blinking back and forth
echoes begin to break,
seeping into loneliness
journeys I must take.

In tune with sorrow
heart softly unfolds,
wrestling taught desires
that break all moulds.

Yet the hands of fate
still caress my soul,
guiding me gently
they take control.

The narrow path before me
lies foreboding, cold, dark,
damp misted air prevents
even the slightest spark.

Sombre secluded spirit
weeps as desolation grips,
dejected dreams crumble
distressed reality rips.

Wide eyes bleed fear
cuts chill to the bone,
first timid step falters
I've begun the trip home.


Author notes

Picture prompt in 30 - 50 words (46)
Credit: http://moonchild-ljilja.deviantart.com/art/Lost-in-shadows-95852953

Sorry this sucks. And sorry for the double entry I had a few problems...past my bed time

Edited since contest ended so no longer fits word count, but I am much happier with it now

A contest entry

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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • Fritz O skennick gold member
    October 13, 2008

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    Aww, Pink, this is beautiful...

    Outstanding!!!
    So sad & laced with such powerful emotions...
    Great rhyme scheme, as always...
    Another fantastic read that didn't fail to move me...
    Well done!!!


  • Reptile Lady gold member
    October 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    The emotions pour from this poem
    You brought her to life
    Congrats on the Silver
    Julie x


  • MysticalRayne
    October 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Lady my entry did the same thing - double but I caught it - must have been a site glitch - as for your poem it is beautifully written and weaves a wonderful tale congrats on your silver win


  • CaliOkie silver member
    October 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Well deserved silver. Indeed, there is nothing suckish about this poem. You have created a strong emotion and a vivid atmosphere. Well done.

    Eyes bleed fears
    chilled to the bone,
    first timid step
    begins the trip home.

    Great ending.

    Garrison


  • WolfHeart
    October 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Actually, I like this very much. It is soothing and has a silken rhythm. I will be back to see if I can figure out why you have negative thoughts here.

  • Arjuna-
    October 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This doesn't suck - it's lovely. I particularly enjoy the imagery. Beautiful piece!


  • Sweet Impatience gold member
    October 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Omg why do you think that this sucks.. because Honestly it doesn't WOW.. this is a very brilliant dark write.. I really loved it.. excellent job ...

    good luck

    kat


  • Disturbed Prodigy
    October 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    How dare you say this poem sucks it is far, far from it, as wonderful and dark as you can be, keep it flowing and good luck in the contest


  • maralisa silver member
    October 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    aw hun your poem doesnt suck its brilliant your imagery and emotions are brillianly powerful and your poem flows beautifully good luck in the contest


  • mysticstorm gold member
    October 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Dark and full of emotions...this is excellent...great flow and depth...you did a wonderful job as always...I too loved the closing stanza...best to you!
    mystic


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    October 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This doesn't suck at all hunny!!! Gosh.. this really grabbed my heart! The feeling of having lost the path and desolation stripping away dreams to leave you so vulnerable!

    I loved at the end how there was that little glimmer of hope that she would take that first step towards home..

    Beautiful work!!!


1 - 11 of 11