"Excuse me", I whispered, just loud enough
So that only he could hear
Our knees brushed again and I looked up
The smile on his lips, more than I could bear
My skin started to burn
The flame rising from deep within
I wondered if anyone else knew
There at the table, as my head started to spin
His sultry voice had me mesmerized
Words tinged with passion
Teasingly, quickly, he glanced at me
To see if I was watching
My eyes pierced his for a brief moment
And I knew he felt it too
Another time, another place
The things that we could do...
Author notes
This is a fantasy piece, born out of observing people when they think no one's watching, lol! Thanks Swan, for encouraging me to post this...
What did you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
-
Wow, this is a really good piece!! Looking forward to more of ur work!!
-
-
Thank you!
I am honored that you took the time to read and comment. I have read several of your pieces and your work is amazing; you are truly gifted. Thanks for the encouragement and support.
-
-
I think you did a great job with this write. A lot of good imagery here. I really like this! Keep on writing.
-
-
Thanks for taking the time...
to read and comment, moluv; it really means a lot to me. I wasn't expecting anyone else to read this besides AsIThink and Swan (they've been paid handsomely, lol!) Appreciate the encouragement... -
-
[Huh?!?... Yeah sure, we've "been paid"...but I don't know anything about "handsomely"...lol]
----AsIThink... -
-
That was a typo,
I meant to say that you and Swan are so handsome! lol! (Does that buy me any extra words of praise for my next piece?) -
-
hahaha...very cute (but 'shamefully', it buys you 5-7 lines of 'praise-text' - lol).
AsIThink...
-
-
-
-
-
l.o.l.
yeah, you're certainly welcome for the nudge..but as I've told you it's an amazingly good first piece! I feel very proud of you lady for taking this 'big' first step into the writing world poetry or otherwise!
-
-
Thank you Swan
for the nudge (I think it was more of a friendly shove, lol!). I might actually attempt another piece...
-
-
Whew! "This is a fantasy piece, born out of observing people when they think no one's watching"...NOW THAT clears this up nicely (LMBO)...You have a great imagination Mel; I'm thrilled to see that your first posting is so strong (psssst!!! BUT, I'm more thrilled to know I'm the first to comment. lol).
AsIThink...
-
-
Thanks for being the first...
to comment! Your feedback means a lot to me, especially since you introduced me to AP. Thanks for your support! -
-
(hahaha...cute; very cute). You are most welcomed; I was totally shocked (well, I would have been EXCEPT that Swan 'hinted') that you posted your first piece. So as soon as I could, I dropped by.
-
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 12 of 12
