Defined by foreign words
Shoved
Broken
Bruised
Unnamed by the
World
Shivering
Freezing
Cold
As broken bones crash down
Under iron thoughts
Of mine
I’m society
I control
You
Author notes
Contest prompt:
20-30 words about anything.
I'm loving these challenges and the form they make me put my words in.
Please, be free to criticize as much as you like, I'm open. 
Thanks for reading!
In a list
A contest entry
- Open to you! 20 to 30 words of whatever you wish by mysticstorm.
300 points, ended October 11, 2008, 11 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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VERY DEEP
society is a controlling factor in all of our lives,, leaving us blinded by UN-REALITY,,, thanks for sharing this one
MICHAEL -
This is so amazing sis! It is truly brilliant... your saying IM smart... well you should look in the mirror! This is so deep in thought and is absolutely beautiful! It is so descriptive and creative. Excellent job!! (I can't get over this!!!) I SHALL REREAD OVER AND OVER!! (How can I add this to my favorites/ bookmark? Well, I shall find out! Once again, this is wonderful!
Love you sis,
Sydney -
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I love you too, honey.
Thanks for this sweet comment.
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How very clever this is such power here in so few words
The style of it is really excellent, and the words very gritty and real. I love the way you have typed it too, the dissheveled way that you place the words really makes me think of some of the worlds most vulnerable and illtreated people, or of people dissplaced from their homes, by the society you create so vividly in my mind, in the excellent last verse. You are very brave to attempt a piece like this, braver than me I fear, I really admire you very nice write take care my friend until next time littlefishone (Theresa), oh and by the way my husband stephen says wow!!
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We are, aren't we. Very deep, excellent
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Yay!!! Congratulations on the greenie! Although, I think this piece deserved so much more. It was full of creativity and depth. Amazing! Thank you for sharing
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Very deep and creative...social control shall always be, we just like to pretend we are free...great imagery and layout...
thank you for entering!
mystic -
Excellent job! I love the way you typed the poem with the format. It adds to it. It is so true that once we are no longer children, society has all these rules to control us now. Excellent job!
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Excellent
a very fine write, indeed. You expressed your thoughts quite well. Thanks for sharing this one with us. Again, well done. -
WONDERFUL!!!
Oh how I feel that society controls me in every way, no longer is there the freedoms I knew as a child.'s
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This poem of yours is deep. Very deep. It has meaning that would be hard to comprehend if not read twice or more. This is the kind of poetry that makes people think, not only about the poet, but about themselves. This poet, is beautiful in it's own way. Lovely! Oh, and cool format! Makes the poem look all the more prettier!
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Very good write and an excellent entry. Good luck and happy trails
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Thank you for the nice comment.
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