Standing in the middle
staring up ahead
looking at the trees
looming over my head.
The scenery is so pretty
the dirt path a light brown
the autumn leaves are crunching
beneath my feet on the ground.
Forward is the future
ahead is the unknown
forward is what scares me
I don't want to go on alone.
But back is the past
back is the scars
back is the people
who I wished for on stars.
So, forward scares me
back is worse
I don't want to repeat
but i don't want more firsts.
For now, I'll stay here
sitting in the middle
not making a decision
wishing I had a fiddle.
Author notes
Option 2
A contest entry
- October New Member's Contest by AP Greeters.
600 points, ended November 6, 2008, 57 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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Hi,
I would just like to wish you the best of luck
in the contest
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Welcome to AllPoetry!
Things that make you say “Hhhhmmmm”. 
This is a different take on the option than I had read up to this point. The fiddle bit is whimsical and – somehow – heartwarming. 
Were it me, I might turn:
“But back is the past
back is the scars
back is the people
who I wished for on stars.
So, forward scares me
back is worse
I don't want to repeat
but i don't want more firsts.”
*
into:
“But back there is the past
and memories of my pain.
Behind me are the people
I’ll cannot see again.
Though the future really frightens me
I fear the past much worse.
I’d not go back, even if I could,
those dark days to traverse.”
Always remember about Comments: These are our
opinions. Your poem is 
YOUR baby and you get to have it as you want it.
Best of luck on AP and in the contest.
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Welcome to Allpoetry
A fiddle sounds nice. Do you play? I must say that sitting in the middle is no fun. You should be living out on a limb. Welcome to allpoetry.
Lady Altheia
site greeter -
Welcome to Allpoetry
This is a lovely poem, very sweet and peaceful. The second stanza is my favourite, since it is just teeming with imagery!
My only suggestion would be to double-check your grammar. Watch your pluralization, and make sure that the object matches the verb.
Example:
"But back is the past
back is the scars
back is the people
who I wished for on stars."
should read more like:
"But back is the past
and back are the scars;
back are the people
whom I wished for on stars."
Also, the last stanza felt a little out-of-place, almost like there should be more. The line about the fiddle didn't really make sense; never forgo meaning for the sake of rhyme because, though the sentiment was there, it just reads oddly.
Other than that, a most splendid read. Well done, and welcome aboard the AP crazy train
Laura, aka Immortal
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Welcome to AllPoetry!
This is qa wonderfully written piece. Totally understandable, with fears of facing what is to come and the despise of going back through the past mistakes and hurts over again. I think I too like the middle for a short while, but we eventually all go on!
Well done.
Welcome to AP and good luck in the contest.
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Welcome To Allpoetry
Hi UnsuspectedEmo
Great poem here. Moving forward is the only way to go even though it can be daunting at times.
Goodluck in the contest and keep writing
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welcome to allpoetry
Wow.. a fiddle.. that would have added perfectly to the season and the mood Very well written.. lot os sunshine here.. Good. Than kyou for this beautiful entry
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thanks for the comment. =] yeah, i thought the fiddle was a fun little touch. :-)
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welcome to allpoetry
You have a good description of what you saw and got from the picture. I like the flow of your thoughts. Very well put together and written out.
Thank you for sharing with us all.
Keep writing on and best of luck to you in the contest.
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thanks so much for your comment.
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Welcome to Allpoetry
Hello Unsuspected,
I think that your poem has a very even flow. You give a good visual to the reader, which shows good technique.
The second and third lines both start with the word "looking", I think this draws away from the rest of your poem. I would consider changing one of them to another similar word.
ex:
"Standing in the middle
staring up ahead
looking at the trees
looming over my head"
The same with your third stanza. I would consider revising.
Ex:
"Forward is the future
ahead is the unknown
moving forward is what scares me
I dont want to go (on) alone"
same with the next stanza.
ex:
"behind me is the past
the scars and the people
who I wished for on stars"
And for forth with the rest of the poem. I think these or similar revisions would highten the flow of your poem. Overusing words takes away from the rest of the poem and can cause the reader to lose interest.
Good luck poet,
Criss -
Good job
I think that this is an absoultly awesome poem it is really simple and gets to the point, which is being stuck. We all get stuck and know how it feels to be stuck. i think that is the important part of poetry having your readers identify with what you are saying. The fiddle made me giggle...lol. I think it's always cool to add a little peice of humor to a seriuos piece, just maybe not at the end. But I loved it and Good luck to you!!!! -
Good job
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I really really like it...but the fiddle sorta killed it for me. No offence. Everything else is awesome.
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yeah... i kinda just needed a rhyme. i thought it was funny. but thanks =]
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thank all of you so much.
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Welcome to AllPoetry
This is a great write. I like how you have really pulled out the "stuck in the middle/limboland" feeling to this. I think that you have really done an excellent job with the prompt. Best of luck in the contest.♥
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Welcome to All Poetry
What a great read this one is. I think this is one that many of us can relate too. But at the same time, all we can do is move forward. I know that is hard sometimes, but yet it what we must do. Great job on this one!
Best of luck in this contest!
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welcome to all poetry
Hi UnsuspectedEmo
All we can do in life is keep moving forward good poem thank you for entering and good luck in the contest
Barbara
site greeter
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Welcome to Allpoetry!
I really like the feel of this poem - the rhythm and rhyme are smooth and you have crafted it well I think in the line 'forward is what scars me' you meant 'scares'? But that could just be me! The take on the prompt is unique - and the addition of the fiddle at the end was charmingly innocent I wish you the best of luck in the contest!
Keep writing
Polly
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i adore fiddles.<3
rsv. your amazing.
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