Whispers in the rain,
Tell me why
You long for your story to bring me pain.
Slowly, the hate in my soul is devouring me whole,
Slowly, my hand is turning into blood-red sand.
Falling and breaking the laws of free fall,
I wait to die.
Drowning in a pool of my tears,
I can't breathe anymore.
The seconds are days, the minutes are years.
I am the mourning,
I am the keeper of the tearing rain.
Forlorn, forsaken, cast aside.
I've tasted your kiss,
It's as sweet as Winter's bliss.
Stars no longer light the sky,
Mirrors no longer reflect our love.
Surrounded by the seclusion of dead and faded trees.
Eyes closed, mind free, pain and troubles...all released.
It's everlasting night instead of the fair day!!
A contest entry
- Your Best Lines by Danna Hobart.
390 points, ended October 19, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Ah man, this is awesome.
"Slowly, the hate in my soul is devouring me whole,
Slowly, my hand is turning into blood-red sand."
How we can feel that which others call suffering, how we can see that which torments so many souls at times I must stop and ponder.
That everlasting night, it encompasses all that it touches and that my dear ylova is never free.
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Surrounded by the seclusion of dead and faded trees.
Eyes closed, mind free, pain and troubles...all released.
It's everlasting night instead of the fair day!!
a strong ending to a very emotional poem, keep it flowing -
The seconds are days, the minutes are years.
I like this line a lot.
Stars no longer light the sky,
Mirrors no longer reflect our love.
I thought this was very clever.
Your poetry seems pretty dark and depressing from these lines, but it is also clever and I thank you for entering. -
Hey, this actually worked! Well done. You did great in this.
Keep it up.
Dani. -
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Thank you Dani
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THERE IS STILL A LIGHT!!!
There is so much sadness in your words but sadness only lasts as long as we let it!
's We are in control of our sadness it is up to us to have a strong heart and faith.
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-Stars no longer light the sky,
Mirrors no longer reflect our love.
-Eyes closed, mind free, pain and troubles...all released.
-Whispers in the rain,
Tell me why
You long for your story to bring me pain.
I loved these, they reflect me in some way. You have some brilliant lines, Ylova. Good luck in the contest and best of luck in life, sweetie.
~Noor
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'Forlorn, forsaken, cast aside.' Those words were what hit me the most. Strong in its description, and vast in its ideas. The title's kinda queer if you ask me ;p But then again, so are you ;p Keep it up! I still wait for more poetry by Ylova Hamdan! \m/
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