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as i remember you.

as sure as the sun hits my face,
I'll wait for your kiss
on my chest -
makes wild cravings for my
lips; they'll want to caress you.

my hand moves quiet sheets
arousing clean linen
scent;
your aura surrounds this place
and I try
to brush your near-
naked
form, quite like mine.

the way your breath smells
peaks imagination:
it moves the curtains
like a breeze...

your mouth does not appear,
nor does your body
come forth -
I felt the morning tremble
as your death
forgets me.









~~~

Author notes

always lonely.

In a list

A contest entry

~~~

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 12 of 12
  • unraveled
    October 26, 2008

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    oh wow, this is so beautiful. quite a good love poem, and then the end was a shock, i wish it had more detail there but it is also good as it stands....

    my favorite part might be "I try to brush your near-neaked form, quite like mine"
    wheehee isn't love fun
    but sad when lost

    beautifully done

  • tara wilson gold member
    October 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "I felt the morning tremble
    as your death
    forgets me."

    what a very powerful ending!...=(

    I enjoyed this read...the ending was so unexpected, nice to see you writing again...


    • And Hyetal
      October 11, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you! It felt good to finally get a poem out after so long.


  • lifeofapoet
    October 11, 2008
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    crap i forgot to applaud... hahaha =]

    ~Lizzy

  • a n e s t h e s ia
    October 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Such sensual images and the ending hit hard. I love it all.. the details flow perfectly. beautiful write..
    It leaves a heaviness..

  • lifeofapoet
    October 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really like this poem. It's not usually the type that I read, but this is realllyy pretty and breath-taking and it makes me think. once i got to the end i was like, awwl, that's so sad! you did a really good job, and i think that you can leave it just the way it is =D

    ~Lizzy


  • Nicolette gold member
    October 11, 2008

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    This is lovely poetry, Cassie. I liked the way this poem moves from the evocative to the melancholic, and oh wow, those last lines - magical. Loved the scents here and the visuals. This one lingers in the mind...it trembles like morning. Sighs...

    ~ Nicolette


    • And Hyetal
      October 11, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much... This is my first poem in a while.


  • Bryan-CarnelianHope
    October 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    o.o Miss Cassie, I do believe you spread your Depression Flavored Preservatives a bit heavily. You can barely see the writer under neath the 'Poison' berry jam.

    This was beautiful in every meaning of the word.
    Breath taking, really.
    But sad.
    Write. Something. Just as beautiful. And. Make it. Happy! I demand this.


    • And Hyetal
      October 11, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      ahhh, but I don't think I can do that. not yet. not quite.

1 - 12 of 12