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The Blade Can Feel

I see blood and freak,
it reminds me of when we use too speak.


You would hug me and shriek,
I thought I was helping you too not be weak.


Sometimes before getting me you'd freeze,
like you had some disease-
but then you would use me and be pleased.


One day you went too far and couldn't breathe


Now I disagree,
with people who use me too feel at ease....

 

How can I make them see,
that I don't set them free?

Author notes

Prompt- Blades Have Stories -- Tell me what a blade is thinking or feeling when they are used by a cutter, either a first timer, or a regular!

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    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • ylova
    December 11, 2008

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    You are really good at writing these rhyming poems, aren't you now? A brilliant write! Thank you so much for sharing

    Much love
    Ylova


  • ea silver member
    October 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is interesting, told from the blade's {point}of view. I always like personification when it is something very different than what you would expect from that object.


  • Wolf Mistress silver member
    October 17, 2008

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    Strong words....it even shows a message to all who think it does set them free....

    XXJeannette


  • countrybabe gold member
    October 16, 2008

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    Great

    This is a great piece of writing. Well done and good luck to you in the contest.

    Countrybabe


  • Dove
    October 16, 2008

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    This one sounds rather personal and deep. I wish you all the best


  • Stardust100
    October 16, 2008
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    Great write I really like this xxxx


  • Poetic Tasha Moderators member
    October 16, 2008

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    oooooh! good luck in the contest


    Tasha


  • catz Moderators member
    October 16, 2008

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    You did a good job with this, Kari. I could feel the knife speaking, almost as if it were trying to say it feels misused.

    Good luck in the contest

    love and
    Granna


  • Meroza
    October 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a very thought provoking poem, making some of the self harmers to stop up and think about the damage they do to themself.

    Best of luck!


  • J aime Coudre silver member
    October 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Good entry, thank you for entering..

  • Warrior7
    October 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A blades point of view on things, i really like your take on this. Great poem.


  • Jeremy0826 silver member
    October 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, wonderful work with this prompt!
    I wish you all the best in this contest
    and keep it up! Thanks for sharing it here!




    Jeremy0826


  • Cerulean Sunrise
    October 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wow. You did a great job of personifying it.

    Much Love,
    Mark

1 - 13 of 13