sick... so sick to my stomach it's hard to breathe.
Sick...so sick I can only sleep...
but then again I can't...
I'll see the faces there...
the faces I once knew to be so kind..
The faces that held me close and deceived me...
The faces that love me to my face and hate me when the shoulder is turned...
So cold and lifeless those eyes were...
So cold and lifeless they still are..
every fiber of my being says to hate you!
everything inside me already does..
I can't fucking get you out of my nightmares!
so frustrated only hysteria surfaces.
in my eyes you are already dead.
but in my memories I fear you live forever.
Author notes
"Hysteria, describes a state of mind, one of unmanageable fear or emotional excesses. The fear is often caused by multiple events in one's past that involved some sort of severe conflict."
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Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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"in my eyes you are already dead.
but in my memories I fear you live forever."
Oh my dear, such a terrifying thought, and I seee what you mean by asking is it possible to bury the memories forever
But I do believe that over time, it can be healed so much ....
Not only have they stabbed you in the back, you're letting them ruin parts of your life that should be more comfortable, happier, but until we reach a certain point, we can't let go of that terror/hatred/hurt ... soemday you will though, i do hope for that for you
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thank you so much. your words mean more than you know. To finally be able to express this to people who really know what im talking about.. to not have to hide my secrets... I'm really a quite person and my pain eats me up inside.. It feels good to get it out and be heard. thank you.
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Good write.
You've done a great job at venting your anger without making it sound like a rant. Writing about bad experiences is perhaps the best cure for the type of sickness you described. Hang in there. There's love in this world, though it eludes us at times
Peace, love,
Vito
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WOW! The stark reality of your words are heartbreaking if this is a true write it expresses so much pain even more than the anger. I hope that you've come to terms with your pain and gone on with your life not giving any one the power to hurt you so. Writing helps to elevate some of the pain and I hope this is so for you. When you can make someone feel what you’re writing you are a poet in deed. God Bless, Jo-Ann
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true write
everything I write has truth. i still feel the pain. The anger. It's hard to let go. It's hard to come to terms with letting somebody get soo close to you and smile sweetly as they stab you in the back and turn the blade... -
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I can only say I'm sorry but trite as it sounds it gets better with time. I've been there a time or two. You tell yourself never again until you find yourself in the same place. Such is life. Let me tell you its even worse when its family.
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exactly. family of all people. The people that are supposed to love you the most out of anybody in the world. does time heal all? I guess we will see.
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