Time tricked us,
caught you napping...
dozing gently at my shoulder,
unprepared though warned
from birth;
life wore death well,
disguised 'neath
heartbeats,
beating fainter
every day.
A contest entry
- Anti Word Bank Ver 3.0 by Loki.
1200 points, ended October 12, 2008, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites of anything by AussieGirlDreamer12.
450 points, ended March 8, 470 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Aww.. I enjoyed this write.. The imagery in it is amazing, and the flow is of a true poet... I enjoyed this write I think im going to have to go on a hunt for more of your writes a little later!!
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'Life wore death well' - a beautiful contradiction, and powerful. I liked how the lines shortened at the end and lost the rhythm just as the heartbeat did.
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I like this, it is a pretty short poem that leaves out a whole lot of unnecessary words. It keeps it a quick little read, which makes me wanting more, but appreciate what is there. I like the truth to this, as only I could see it, because it rings with truth. No matter how many years we live, none of us can be truely prepared for what we know is coming. It seems our whole existence is to disguise the inevitable. Nice job and good luck in the future.
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Good
i liked this because it was kind of abstract
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It's beautiful! I think it's a wonderful poem that describes how life and death go hand in hand.
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I am not much for words outside of my poetry, but I like to read between lines, this is really touching, and you are really talented.
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this makes me feel the way i did the first time a high school kid called me mister. I was like, WTF! im only 30!! lol. good write
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You've captured the quickness of illusive time, quickly defined the irony of life through a heart-beat.
A soft, close perspective.. great stuff.
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