Nothing's gonna change my mind
No matter how old I am
The October wind blows soft and swift
Taking me to the other side
The golden road in Terrestrial domain
Widely decorated
Through mist and light
Takes me away to the Unknown
To the Celestial Kingdom of our Lord
Purblind and perplexed
Taking the road as if in a dream
October is here
October is me
No matter how bizarre and how weird
I am the daughter of the sunlit road
Mist in my eyes
Light on my lips
I take the journey to the other side
and nothing's gonna change my mind
A contest entry
- October New Member's Contest by AP Greeters.
600 points, ended November 6, 2008, 57 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
do you believe in the october grand magic?
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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Hi,
I would just like to wish you the best of luck
in the contest
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Welcome to AllPoetry
I very much enjoyed your poem. It would be helpful if you put your option in the author's notes. The judges don't like to have to search for the option or guess. Many contests require including the option. Keep writing, practice makes perfect.
Lady Altheia
site greeter -
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hi lady altheia,
tnx for your warm reply and guidance, but i'm quite confused, how shall i include the option?
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Welcome to AllPoetry!
Let me encourage you to put your Option Number in Author Notes so you won’t be DisQualified.
I had to look up purblind:
pur⋅blind
ˈpɜrˌblaɪndShow Spelled Pronunciation [pur-blahynd] Show IPA Pronunciation
–adjective
1. nearly or partially blind; dim-sighted.
2. slow or deficient in understanding, imagination, or vision.
3. Obsolete. totally blind.
A poem that says
“I am the daughter of the sunlit road
Mist in my eyes
Light on my lips
I take the journey to the other side
and nothing's gonna change my mind”
HAS to be a winner.
Those are beautiful, classic lines.
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Welcome to Allpoetry
I love the strength and determination that exudes from this poem. Strong write, good luck.
♥
whisper
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Welcome to Allpoetry
To answer the question in your ANs: Nope, but I do now
This is a lovely poem; Like you, I love the fall, and you have done the prompt such justice. The tone is warm, and this is full of colour and life.
Usually, I find it very difficult to read poetry that contains slang ('gonna', 'oughta', etc.), but oddly enough, it fit your poem. Don't know why, but it didn't stick out the way it usually does.
My only recommendation would be to cut down on the filler-words. This is a beautiful piece, and the main course shouldn't be overshadowed by the appetizer (can you tell I'm hungry? Haha!).
Anyway, gotta get some food in me now... But I thoroughly enjoyed your poem, and I look forward to reading more from you. Welcome aboard, and keep up the great work!
Laura, aka Immortal
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Welcome to AllPoetry!
A write with a lot of thought and depth to it. This is beautifully written and well crafted.
WSelcome to AP and good luck in the contest.
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Welcome To Allpoetry
Hi marjan.shokouhi
Very beautiful words you have written here. Everybody that has left you a comment has pretty much said what i would say so good work. Good luck in the contest and keep writing
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welcome to allpoetry
This is truly a beautiful poem. Not much else to say that hasn't been said already. Again, you will need to let us know your option number to be considered for a possible trophy. If you have any questions just let any me or any Greeter know.
Best of luck.
Keep writing!
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Welcome to Allpoetry
Hello Marjan,
I love fall and all that October brings to nature. I liked how you started and ended with the same line. This brings the poem full circle and adds a lot of dramatic edge to the entire story.
I am thinking your choice was option 2. (you will need to add the option number to your authors comments. It is easy to do if you dont know how. Open up the poem, click on the link under owner options that says edit and add your notes under the author section and click on the submit button at the end of the page like you did to submit it originally)
If your option was number 2, I like the idea of the road of fall being seen as the "golden" road or what I believed to be the streets of heaven or the path way there.
Good luck poet,
Criss -
welcome to all poetry
Hi marjan.shokouhi
I love this poem, october is my favorite month. I love everything about it Thank you for entering and good luck in the contest
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Welcome to AllPoetry :)
Its like I have many lines here in your poem, that I'd like to re-read.. Especially the last stanza.. very very enchanting and poetic!! Golden Road.. wow.. this indeed is a golden poem. Thank you veyr much for the entry.
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Welcome to All Poetry
A very unique write. Fantastic vocabulary and great images! You have really captured the prompt! One suggestion though, you may want to add which option number you have chosen, sometimes poems get DQ'd if it's not listed. Best of luck in the contest.♥
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Welcome to All Poetry
This is fantastic! What a great take on this prompt! Fantastic! I love how you compare October to yourself in this one! Something in this really grabbed me today! I think I really needed to read this one! Thanks!
Best of luck in this contest!
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dearest sunshine, tnx for your warm comment. i am happy that you liked it. by the way, today is my birthday
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Welcome to Allpoetry!
I really like the identification of yourself in Octobers image this is an amazing poem and I loved the magic of your words the rules of the contest state that you have to place the option number in your AN (the place in 'edit' that says 'any notes?'), I would hate to see this DQ'd because of something like that! I like the repeated idea of nothing being able to change your mind - a strong poem indeed I wish you the best of luck in the contest!
Keep writing
Polly
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dearest polaja,
tnx for your nice comment
and by the way, today is my birthday
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