I
&the smoke just lingers
as i release my daily toxins
rainbows and butterflies don't exist
p
not in this fucked u reality
snails crawl on your skin
&you can feel the slime d
r
i
p
p
i
n
g
d
o
w
n
your pale flesh
&it's okay babe the truth is, were all falling a p a r t
light another cigarette to make you feel alright
pop another pill to dull the numbness ~ ~ ~
----slit------ your wrist to make the world ~ spin ~
~ ~ ~
but it's all okay right? i mean, doesn't everyone feel this way?
II
blackness. every thing's dark. i'd say i can't think, but my minds racing and I can't hold on to a thought. all i've got left is this cigarette the only friend i've got left.
i'm pathetic, helpless, a waste to society. a broke ass waitress that does no good for the world. an every day destitute girl, too fucked up to even care. passed the point of saving, passed the point of realizing anything.
III
old t shirts and pictures haunt me. i was happy once, i had emotions at one time. what happened to me? how did i become so strung out on life? sobriety was supposed to remove these feelings and bring me peace but i'm at war with myself and the voices won't go away. And Peter denied me access and now I'm stuck here. purgatory's a bitch with nowhere to go.
IV
sinner.sinner.sinner. oh look at what you've done. do you really need for us to count them all fucking up? you're a liar, you're a whore, you're a strung out junkie, you'll never go anywhere. you have no soul, you have no conscience, you're a pathetic excuse for a human. you do nobody any good. you're past the point of saving. what don't you get, you've used your get out of jail free cards too many damn times, you're stuck.
-stuck-
nobody wants to save a wrench like you. lets tattoo fuck up to your forehead. so everyone will know to avoid you like bubonic plague. because your just a parasite. all you ever do is bring people down.
V
d
o
w
n
baby
d
o
w
n
your fa-fa-fa-fa-falling sdrawkcab why can't you see. you fail. you fail at [begin statement]everything[end statement] you'd be better of on some deserted island where you couldn't curse someone else with your plague. don't spread your disease like you would stds. wrap it up bitch, go away.
VI
This it, the final scene. the blood, the gore, the slit wrist, the cocaine, the oxycontin and loratab. just get it over with already, stop wasting time. get.to.the.point.
[mommmy, daddy, im sorry i couldn't be the daughter you always wanted me to be. im sorry that i always failed. im sorry im such a shame, im sorry that i could never meet the measuring cup lines, im always an ounce to short. i know you expected so much more of.
jacob, daniel, jonny, you all deserve a better sister, a better role model, somebody to rely on, not me. not the sister that i am. the one you always have to worry about. but im going to get better. ill change. just give me time [tick tick tock tock;;times running out bbydoll;;]
& to all my friends fuck you all, you never supported me, you never cared. you abondended me when i needed you the most. left me alone and tattered, fuck that shattered and cold. i dont need you anymore.
marcus lets just forget each other, like we never knew each other, start over without ever restarting, save us both the heartache. we're no good for each other. like oil and water we dont belong, and we ain't go no god damn soap.
mike you broke me. b r o k e me. s h
a t
t e
r d
me into two|owt
I don't even know what to say to you.]
p.s. bang, bang, boom. bruised leg, shattered heart. im my own worst damn enemy. tearing myself a p a r t bit by bit, i can't even remember what it feels like to cry.
Author notes
dancing marionette
its your twinkieeee
idk babe. idk if this is what you wanted. but its what you're getting.
ilyssssfm
umm for the ap fam how about
twisted attivan shattered prom queen?
A contest entry
- For my favorites and those that have me on their favorites by whiterabbit..
400 points, ended December 11, 2008, 23 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - AP family! by Dirty and Broken.
900 points, ended December 13, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Teen Angst by Perfect-Pain.
333 points, ended October 24, 2008, 52 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Against All Odds, We Touched the Stars with Our Toes by PaintedParisPassion.
550 points, ended December 24, 2008, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ~~ Break Me Down ~~ by xxRainbowDawnxx.
615 points, ended December 26, 2008, 47 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
so sorry if this is about real pain you are feeling, the imagery makes my skin crawl and so does the choices of words.
-
This just made me cry. Like so bad. Maybe thats why i never read this one because i knew it would be sadddddd to me. Was I a bad friend? If i was then Im the one that needs to goto hell. Ahhhh one of these days im going to find a mascara that is waterproof. seriously.
And back to the poem,
p.s. bang, bang, boom. bruised leg, shattered heart. im my own worst damn enemy. tearing myself a p a r t bit by bit, i can't even remember what it feels like to cry.
That right there was just art. I mean the whole thing together was brilliant, but the ending...ohmygawd, the ending blew me away babe.
Illlllly oh so much!
♥
Soph
-
I usually don't read long pieces but this one grabbed my attention, and I didn't really mind the length this time around. a wonderful write. had some great imagery..
Angel
-
This seems like it would be a good performance piece.
The peter pan reference is clever. -
this was very long....
but it managed to keep me interested....
i liked it
thank you for entering -
Superb plus
A most unique dark write, indeed. You expressed yourself quite well. Thanks for sharing this one with us. -
god bby, if you're losing your mind than I must be too because I can relate soooo fucking much to this. Like, I could've written this and just swapped out a few names.
"blackness. every thing's dark. i'd say i can't think, but my minds racing and I can't hold on to a thought."
^^^You just described one of those indescribable crazy emotions that I get all the fucking time. In fact, I'm pretty sure I'm there right now.
"old t shirts and pictures haunt me. i was happy once, i had emotions at one time. what happened to me? how did i become so strung out on life?"
^^^Once again bby, that's me right there. EXACTLY.
"sinner.sinner.sinner. oh look at what you've done. do you really need for us to count them all fucking up? you're a liar, you're a whore, you're a strung out junkie, you'll never go anywhere. you have no soul, you have no conscience, you're a pathetic excuse for a human. you do nobody any good. you're past the point of saving. what don't you get, you've used your get out of jail free cards too many damn times, you're stuck."
^^^^These thoughts run through my head all the fucking time. You're writing out my thoughts and emotions bby.
"mommmy, daddy, im sorry i couldn't be the daughter you always wanted me to be. im sorry that i always failed. im sorry im such a shame, im sorry that i could never meet the measuring cup lines, im always an ounce to short. i know you expected so much more of."
^^^^I feel like this way too much. It's horrible bby.
"you all deserve a better sister, a better role model, somebody to rely on, not me. not the sister that i am. the one you always have to worry about. but im going to get better. ill change. just give me time [tick tick tock tock;;times running out bbydoll"
^^^^^Once again bby, you're writing about me. I told you, just swap out the names and it becomes my thoughts exactly.
Wow, this is just powerful and brilliant and insane. I love it and I can basically relate to every word. Someday the insanity has to stop though, right? Someday we'll feel good enough just being ourselves, I hope.
Amazing bby
ilyssssfm
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
