I Killed Myself Today

I killed myself today
I can't believe she texted me
Andy's mom
"It's over, stop contacting him"
I replied quite eloquently and calmly
but
my heart was racing and the panic hurt
and for all it's worth
it isn't worth the abuse
maybe you can take it
but I can't

I'm sorry
for whatever the fuck I did
nobody seems to know
or they aren't willing to tell
I wish I could call it a last request
but I'm afraid they'd catch on

I killed myself today
I got an advance on my allowance
seeing as I'm only 17
for another 4 weeks or so
Rite-Aide has it right
and you know what they say
If at first you don't succeed
try, try again
I drove to our spot along the ocean
and munched on some aspirin
that generic kind every store has
at least 200, just to be safe
and drifted off, crying all along
and writing letters
what did I do?