hibernation;
there is no room for you under the water grappling my chest, the heat that can’t hold anything in, not the feathers from choking turtledoves, nor the tepid carol singing of my heart, i hurt, therefore, i am, i am, flinging itself over canyons in some distant country. i'm always going to be there, you said. i'm a freckle that stays even after dark, even after the stars start to conspire in morse code above us lying tangled outside your back door. funny then how i can’t find you. can’t even see you. oh no no room at the inn. not anymore.
i hold my breath in a new town, one that’s never been kissed, a shapeless hollow of squatting houses and sand-baked roads, sculpted trees, one that will die a virgin as it is swallowed up by scalpels and flames. it doesn’t know your face and it has nothing to miss. we're homeless and counting the bones in our hands, adding them up to make slam poetry, littering the steps of the house where god bars the door to the snow, sucking on a joint like it might attach us to the strings of cloud we can’t reach. a man with two wheels slides past and i wonder if he can smell it, on the wind that is always crying, always quietly, the scent of bathwater and instinctive grace and flowers in my hair.
it seems i don’t forget as easily as the moon does.
Author notes
i know i know this is horrifically terrible
life keeps getting in the way at the moment
i will edit
eventually
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
-
just beautiful
i wont go any further in to it, your probably bored of this already- but just know, i really liked it.
-
-
thank you
i don't think i could ever get bored of nice comments heh
-
-
i dont see why you should edit this, unless you already have? i think i missed this one sweetie! i had no idea you wrote this or id be the first to comment but either way, this is not horrible at all. i know you know how much i do enjoy your writing and no matter how hard i try to find some kind of suggestion i never have the heart to, because i love it just the way it is. miss you much sweets <3
-
this is not horrifically terrible. not even a little close. more like, horrifically amazing. it's real, it feels like a moment when your brain spilled open and for those seconds, this is what you were - uncoordinated raw and stunning. almost too much to look at, i think i'm scared to read it again.
-
I found this really beautiful,
it was so packed of so many beautiful sections it was like broken lovers in a big wildflower garden in a cemetary, blowing seeds all over the place.
"on the wind that is always crying, always quietly, the scent of bathwater and instinctive grace and flowers in my hair. "
like that is so gorgeous♥ you have to say!
That remids me of that David Bowie song Wild is the Wind. This whooole thing does actually!
Just so like bloomy<3.
"i hurt, therefore, i am, i am, flinging itself over canyons in some distant country."
I liked that, a very powerful image.
This whole thing just reminds me of going with the wind, ending up in a hurricane ending up wherever.
You are a slow tremor like growing. & you were supposed to be watched and held onto but suddenly you're all alone to break.
& so you're wreaking havoc on wherever you go, forgetting. hmmm<3.
really beautiful.
xo
-
"flinging itself over canyons in some distant country. i'm always going to be there, you said. i'm a freckle that stays even after dark, even after the stars start to conspire in morse code above us lying tangled outside your back door. funny then how i can’t find you."
It is far from terrible.
You have such a creative way with words, and I love reading them. And you're always incredible at prose.
-
it seems i don’t forget as easily as the moon does
stop saying its terrible...
i cant even turn out something half this good :[
-
You know what horrifically terrible?
how you have such little faith in your words.
They are just as strong as you are love. However, Tink, I'm glad to see that you are still writing.
"it seems i don’t forget as easily as the moon does."
"i hold my breath in a new town, one that’s never been kissed, a shapeless hollow of squatting houses and sand-baked roads, sculpted trees"
"an’t hold anything in, not the feathers from choking turtledoves, nor the tepid carol singing of my heart, i hurt, therefore, i am, i am"
So wonderful, love.
♥
-
-
aj aj aj
where have you been? i miss you
-
-
you're beautiful.
if you say this is terrible again...just don't, okay?
-
no edits necessary;
i finished reading and exhaled a breath i didn't realize i was holding, it was so wonderfully raw.
Adding your comment:
1 - 11 of 11
