This Heart Is Out of Order

Well, I've told my story before,
So I'm sure a summary will suffice.
It is much shorter
And easier for everyone.

I was thirteen years old
When I fell in love with him.
He was amazing,
And he loved me, too.

I couldn't believe what had happened,
Or even how it happened.
How could anyone that I love,
Love me back in the same way?

But then came the day
That the whole thing was over.
My heart split in pieces,
And I didn't think I'd live.

But somehow I did.
Only something is wrong, now.
It has been a couple years,
And so far I've never stopped loving him.

I don't think I can
Or ever will stop.
He's absolutely amazing,
And it hurts so much.

I've thought this through before,
And I've decided that one thing is for sure.
I can't feel anything...
This pain is so much, it numbs me.

I don't think I'll be able to like anyone,
Or love them for that matter.
Not for a long time.
I just feel so empty.

So the guys I hang out with;
They're just friends
Who hug me and help me,
Whether they know it or not.

For the time being,
And for a long time, I fear,
I can't give my heart to someone else.
So I'd have to say:
This heart is out of order.