dear darling:
i'm taking up
page after page of red letters
for your morning yawn,
for the way you raise yourself
out of the dust
too fast for me to follow.
and now
i cannot find the sky.
dear prodigy,
you knew every answer
for every word,
the root. but you spoke
a different language to me,
and it is past now:
the answers i couldn't learn
in time.
you were smart enough
to duck behind the curtain quickly,
and i was left
standing like nothing
ever was smaller than me.
dear dead horse:
i'm beating you,
over and over again
because nothing else runs through me,
not as fast
and never with as much color
shooting knives through my stomach
everytime i see you walk away.
it's probably because
you can't see me.
i'm hidden between the green
and the blue,
so that you never have to see my face
and the salt water underneath.
dear, if you're reading,
i have so many other leaves
on the trees to covet,
but somehow, i'm staring past
back at you. and you never
look into me, not like i do,
at least, so i cant say that
i'm the moonlit lover
in the night that's not so dark.
but it is, and if i could
tell my steel heart to
become stone, i think i'd feel
better, but i never learned
anything
like you did.
Author notes
liesofdevotion
A contest entry
- a letter to you by Xombii.
700 points, ended November 10, 2008, 35 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - UNPLANNED: as unexpected as you [preliminary round] by Never Fall in Love.
400 points, ended December 22, 2008, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
...
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Yes
Each separate letter and image did a great job of portraying each emotion - thought they could've connected a tad bit more, but I understand it nonetheless.
Your emotion was powerful.
Well done. Thanks for the entry
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yes.
wait for ryan. -
I really love the setup of this -
the wordsare distinctly placed and the emotion really strong throughout.
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Oh wow.
This was brilliant, an extremely well written piece. I can see that you have lots of talent. Thanks for sharing.
Take care
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One of the best I have read in awhile.
I loved this piece, you are very gifted.
There is so much I loved about this piece
I couldn't find a favorite part, and as I read
to the ending I realized that the whole darm
piece was magnificent.
Loveandblessings2u & yours always
Joyce
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"if i could
tell my steel heart to
become stone, i think i'd feel
better"
no. You won't. You just get pulled deeper into depression because you feel nothing.
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this reminds me of a play i had to read last year for my drama class
called 'find me'
it's about a girl called verity who gets shipped from mental institution to mental institution but they never really do anything to help her
she has a kind of catchphrase
'dear whoever you are.. find me and have me as your beloved'
it's the kind of thing that makes you feel spiders are crawling up your spine and you can't shake them off.
and this poem, it pretty much does the same thing
it's like a ghost behind a curtain
haunting, transparent, but you can still FEEL it so much that it hurts and makes you cold.
which is a good thing.
very very good.
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I was sent to your page by someone who thinks you are very talented. I have to agree with him, this is a beautifully written poem and I'm glad he sent me your way. I hope you enjoy your stay here at ap, and if you have any problems, just let me know. This really is beautiful work. I'm not the greatest critic of what is and is not great poetry, but I know what I like. This is a beautiful write.
symitar
moderator manager -
Tragedy and comedy here, and it makes me feel guilty to laugh and/or to cry. This poem is a trapeze artist performing great feats. Fabulously done! Peace.
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Quite a brilliant write! A most riveting, open and telling piece indeed. Thank you for sharing your gift with us...with me.
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this was cool. i like the way you did it in the way of different people/things. that was cool. love can suck...
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Amazing profoundly personal write, that certainly is from a misunderstanding of the other...Love has broken your heart. Something not unusual aboard this site
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"and i was left
standing like nothing
ever was smaller than me."
"i'm hidden between the green
and the blue,
so that you never have to see my face
and the salt water underneath."
you write Amazingly! this is fantastic. it's very well done and you keep interest throughout. I love the last three lines as well.. i'm bookmarking. thanks for sharing, good luck in the contest
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