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Forward facing.


Charcoal stains
    in the north,

Threaten rain,
     some time,
       some place;

But east,
     where my feet
               fall forward,

Is clear and bright
                  and blue;
 

for now.

So I'll keep walking.

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • Master Anarchy
    December 2, 2008

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    I would not say so...

    I think the impact of this very simple, almost banal, piece would be elevated more than somewhat by the omission which invites conflation by way of continuity of conception of the word "So" in the terminational lineal declarative of the Sempiternal Unfineal.

    Thus:

    "for now./I'll keep walking"; or "bright and blue/for now."

    Also, were one to capitalise the "for", the ambiguity implicit in said word might be emphasised for some. Ie. for whom is the now, possibly even itself?


  • still.she.waits
    November 7, 2008

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    this is simple and beautiful.
    i have to say, that since i live in the east, i think ill walk north, jsut to be rebellious. on the other side the grass is greener they say.


  • quantumsurveyor
    October 21, 2008

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    I just hate walking but, somehow, you have made it appealing and wanted. I just loved this piece of work that so simply takes an idea and gives us it in such an economy of words. This, for me, is poetry.


  • Meej
    October 19, 2008

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    oh wow..this is so strong and i love love loev how you describe the clouds, charcoal stains. Literally this poem has strong description and imagery and makes the reader feel like they are there on that road with you, grey skies afar and bright blue in the distance. Metaphorically this poem has alot of strength and meaning.It shows how our futures can be so bright and wonderful and that dark cloud of uncertainty and doubt in our mind can hold us back, but as long as we focus on the good and go towards the light we should be able to make it. Thats one way of looking at it anyway, but the beauty of your poem is that its so strong you can take it more than one way.


    • daisybee
      October 20, 2008
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      thank you for taking time to read my poem-it is really appreciated and I am glad it touched you. x peace


  • afroqban
    October 12, 2008

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    i wanna walk east with you, ive been walking north for years and wondering why my life is taking such a beating lol. like always awesome write


    • daisybee
      October 12, 2008
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      hey thanks so much for reading my writes-you rock.
      took me a while to turn right too.


  • Legend silver member
    October 11, 2008

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    What a wonderful little poem Em,
    This just goes to show that much can be said in few words.
    The image painted is excellent, as is the feeling of the person relating the poem
    Could that we all see the sun ahead and ignore the dark forbidding signs that are behind us
    Beautiful


    • daisybee
      October 11, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      thank you Legend for your wonderful comment x hugs x Em

1 - 9 of 9