sand
g r o w s ...
blankets
eyes, lungs,
hope.
Author notes
picture prompt from http://allpoetry.com/contest/2423571
6 words only
Please feel free to offer honest critiques. I am open to all opinions and suggestions.
Written October 10th, 2008
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Wow. I can't really leave constructive critism as I don't write much of this type of poetry myself. But I really liked the image you created. I didn't see the picture until after I read it, and it was perfect for the picture. Good write.
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i need to think about this...i understand..grows..as perhaps that the desert does not grow?...blankets..as in cover...the eyes/lungs..the sight and breathe being stolen away...hope?...that's interesting reference...back to being blinded?..interesting words..not sure if they go well together..or maybe they go too well together..and its just too complex..lol..
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Having looked at the contest.. I like it even more..
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I like it. It's unique in it's idea and the imagery you've put together. I don't think grows needs to be spaced out (but it's funny I should say that with my user name ).. I'm curious to see what the prompt was..
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Thanks.
I'll have to play around with it a bit and see whether or not the spacing adds anything. I am also reconsidering the "..." now. It's a work in progress so I appreciate the honest critique.
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