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Walls (working title)

my patience wearing thin
behind this evil grin
I'll drink your cream
until I drown

I need to breathe you in
I want to taste your skin
make you scream
until the walls come down

till the walls come down
lain in rubble all around

Critiques welcomed

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Comments


  • Sir Squigglim
    November 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wow. That's pretty cool. I like the word choice... it's really well done


  • Alyzeh
    October 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is wonderful. Stunning write!


  • forgot2b3forgotten
    October 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    mmm... my my my i have to say this is now a def. fav of mine im so glad i stumbled across your writeings.. you are amazing at what you write..


  • arnica karuna
    October 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    so intense! As i see it, are you trying to write something about a person closed up a bit too much? Or is it something else? I loved it! you have done it so well! I could feel your urge to get to know that person well and I could feel your energy tearing the "walls" down. Great write! And the working title works just fine. I say, keep it.
    Cheers!