Remember when it was perfect and pure
Before those men made it a bore
The trees, the birds, it’s everything
Gone, all gone, for simply nothing
They came, they went, their damage done
The fight for freedom was not won
People tried to change it back
But still machines would hack and hack
People tried to keep it right
But men in suits were trained to fight
Their lawyers saying painful statements
None including helpful amendments
Machines were used for elimination
Crushing, destroying a beautiful nation
Not just one, but many all over
There wildlife destroyed by the bulldozer
Remember when it was perfect and pure
Before those men made it a bore
The trees, the birds, it’s everything
Gone, all gone, for simply nothing
Author notes
Another lame environmental poem lol
A contest entry
- Pain by peregrin.
700 points, ended November 9, 2008, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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I like the way you have repeated the first stanza at the end and I enjoyed the whole write though there are a few problems with the flow.

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Gah... That is wow.
It is creative, different.
True, in a great way.
This is really really powerful.
Great work. -
You certainly made a point with this-I admire the fact that you care enough to write about it-and many lines were simple and startlingly effective:
People tried to change it back
But still machines would hack and hack
People tried to keep it right
But men in suits were trained to fight
Their lawyers saying painful statements
You managed to reduce the mess we made of the world and ourselves into sharp lines right here. Cool work.




