Seeking
Tick tock, tick tock
So goes the ticking of a clock.
Yet, it seems that all I ever do is walk
First up one street
Then down another
All looking so like the other.
Walking at a steady beat
Never slowing
My tired aching feet
As I am walking on the hard concrete.
Often I lazily gaze upwards
Seeking only happiness in the sky
Only to fail
When I break down and cry.
I really hate to complain
Feeling the cold, freezing rain
But this just isn’t right
That I walk all night
And never see the sunlight.
Doom and gloom all around
My emotions are so unbound
True love I sought
which ended in angry taunts,
Hurt feelings, and a lover lost.
A fake smile
That goes away after a while
Leaving a emptiness inside
Refusing to give up my pride.
Now though as an after thought
I have a solution
Quit seeking absolution.
Author notes
well I did give it a try with a lot of help from friends. We hope you like it.
In a list
A contest entry
- 5385 Points --- Winner Take All by mrme.
5385 points, ended October 28, 2008, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Great Job
Well I think you did a great job on this. I can relate to it and even if I couldn't, I believe that it would still be amazing to me
BRAVO!!!
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Good ideas here
Your poem could be written by many as the thoughts seem to be universal. I likes how you put these things down. Good luck in the contest, but more so in life, The Shaker -
If I can find perfect absolution I'll forget the dreams of yesterday.
excellent write
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My honest opinion... I do like this poem with the exception of the first 2 clock lines. They seem out of place with the rest of the poem. You paint some real emotion in this piece. i can feel the dark, somber mood you are in as you are on your quest for love and happiness. you do an excellent job of describing how the world around you seems dark, rainy and grey while you seek those things that will bring life and light into your world. I hope you find it.
thanks for entering and good luck. -
Well Done
You have as always created a great poem, I really enjoyed the read. There is a lot of emotion and feeling in this poem, John
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Absolution
Maybe in the form of a cleansing rain. But the depth of despairis very evident in this dark write. well done Dr. Spock. lol
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