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The Swan And The Raven



Raven’s Song


          Graceful
          without effort,

          you are the reflection
          of an angel
          gliding
          across still waters-

          as the world watches;

          I am a raven
          and my love in return
          would darken you.


Swan’s Refrain


          Sleek black defiance,

          regret not my love
          as southern migration
          turns the world cold.

          Your purity
          only highlights
          their blindness.


Raven’s isolation


          Horizon’s departing speck,

          my heart
          beats proud echoes
          within an empty chamber.

          From the tallest tree,
          let the world look up and see,
          me
          watching you
          forever.


Pure White Spring


          My shadow guardian,

          come down;
          we shall become
          as lilies blooming -
          reveal ourselves;

          just as the sunset
          releases the moon
          to illuminate water –

          let the world turn away. 








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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • lindaburns gold member
    October 28, 2008

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    JUDGE:

    You have the poem stretched out so far that the system thinks it has 74 lines. I count 35.
    I do have one thought: since the Raven is speaking in the 1st stanza, shouldn’t it be titled “Raven’s Song”? I am moving you to the finalist list.


  • grannyeri gold member
    October 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Do like this background you have chosen for this entry. Beautiful words -certainly.


  • Wandika gold member
    October 22, 2008

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    Such power does love wield

    and such restraint does the mind hold over the body.
    Very well thought out and developed.

    Jim


  • CitrineSunrise silver member
    October 22, 2008

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    Ken, this is simply wonderful. I read a stanza earlier in the creative process and thought it was graceful and lyrical. Now it is so much more than just the sum of its parts. The dialogue is well formatted and although I loved every word I found the imagery of,
    From the tallest tree,
    let the world look up and see,
    me
    watching you
    forever.
    to be perfection.

    Peace and hugs, Liz


  • Night Hope gold member
    October 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Bravo, dear Scribe!!! Sustained standing ovation.

    What a precious, priceless piece this is, my Friend.

    Exquisitely penned.

     

    Wowzer.


  • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
    October 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Bravo! Standing in Applause!

    You have captured, held, and left me in tears.

    The emotions in this poem move the heart and soul, and if just one beat could, it would forever find itself as the sunset releases the moon, letting life's eyes look in other places.

    Within the illuminated water is where it would flourish and dream, knowing the power of pure love.

    This is amazing my artistic and talented friend. But then --- you knew that.

    Beautiful poetry from a beautiful soul. Excellent. ~Pamela


  • going nowhere
    October 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    oh, thank you for letting me know. this piece in its entirety is gorgeous... as you know, i loved the first two stanzas, but the completion of the story is exquisite. i really liked how you broke the storyline into chapters, so to speak. thank you for sharing.

1 - 11 of 11