I'm worn down
around the edges,
crushed up like a box
left out in the backseat
of your boyfriend's car
and I wonder
how I'll ever
be taped up again.
I am the chewed gum
you twirl around your fingers
as you're staring into space
wishing for your cell phone
to ring,
is it enough just
awaiting an answer?
(will you? will you?)
I've seen a lot of
spirals suck people in and out
like you breathe the smoke you
drag in when you're down
and on the exhale,
you purge the beauty
and replace it with
stale words.
You twist your body to
make the shapes of
the letters, but the
sheets do all the work.
Is this skin enough
to soothe the burn?
the sweat you shed
to find the form
and the perfect ending to
a night of
silence eloquence?
It's just another
sad ending to your
growing despair.
Light the candle in the casket
watch it eat up the air,
its lovely knowing
that sleep will come on heavy soon.
It will come on heavy.
Author notes
"So, I’m just the medicine
You take when you’re sick
You get well and that’s it
I’m put back on the shelf in your mirror
And it isn’t exceptional
The course of our fate
So, people love and they hate
And I guess it’s just our turn to hate
Yeah, you were just some song I wrote
A poem on a page
A sculpture I made out of clay
Desire was the flame."
-I've been Eating for You
Wish I could have done better. This man is definitely one of the best well-known poets/songwriters I've had the chance to read ad fall in love with.
A contest entry
- ~Give me your BEST Prewrites~ by Bean Sidhe.
1000 points, ended November 14, 2008, 46 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Bright Eyes by Aesthete.
400 points, ended November 9, 2008, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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I love the first couple stanzas! really gave me some good images and feelings, definitely things I can relate too.
you had a lot of good lines, for sure,
though I felt a few parts were a little stilted,
one would be:
is it enough just
awaiting an answer?
could just be me, but that stuck on my tongue.
its lovely knowing
that sleep will come on heavy soon.
It will come on heavy.
that ending was really awesome!
sometimes that's reall the best thing.
my girl broke up with me once and I didn't sleep for five days, no joke, and i got it into my head that everything was worthless and that id never smile again.. but I just slept.. and slowly learned to breathe again. just had to sleep and eat and maybe walk around a little. ha. just the simple things sometimes.
thanks very much for entering!
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Hmm...this is quite interesting. I think this is one of the pieces that I will need to re-read more than once to consume the full meaning. I like this. I just can't really explain why. I do like the stanza:
"You twist your body to
make the shapes of
the letters, but the
sheets do all the work."
Nicely done & thank you for your entry! -
ho-ly-shit. i have two favorite parts in this that sing just because of your rhythm alone... and then you get to the actual words and content, and it's that much more amazing.
You twist your body to
make the shapes of
the letters, but the
sheets do all the work.
"Light the candle in the casket
watch it eat up the air"
that's an amazing two lines, with so much in it. i think sometimes your writing helps me remember how to breathe.
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Well it's your comments that keep me going, to be honest.<3 Thank you /so/ much, it's really a beautiful thing when someone can understand poetry and your situation. Makes writing seem less..cryptic and abstract.
Again, thank you so much.
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