late last night, in the dead of the dark
i shut up my heart in a box made of bark
i lit it on fire with our common spark
and i spelled out your name in the ashes.
bare footprints line the sand
where you and i walked together
in the early hours of the morning.
i swore i could see you falling
before you hit the ground
but my arms wouldn't catch you.
maybe they're broken like my heart used to be.
soon enough, my knees crumbled
and i tumbled as well
collapsing next to you
in a fit of laughter that mimicked yours.
in the orange light of sunrise
i sprinkled ashes on your eyelashes
and you blinked our love into the ocean
who promised to hold it for all of eternity.
early this morning in faint orange light
i wished and i wanted with all of my might
i gave you the ashes, you made them take flight
and that's how you captured my love.
Author notes
Title by Lowercase Prelude.
Inspired by title.
I'm Porcelain Princess.
A contest entry
- PROUDLY PRESENTING: ROUND 3 by Walk-Free.
1900 points, ended October 31, 2008, 8 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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awesome!
this is very impressive. i read your first stanza, and it made me continue reading this effortlessly. i like the flow of this poem, and your last stanza ended this poem perfectly. keep penning, best wishes! I LOVED THIS!
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"in the orange light of sunrise
i sprinkled ashes on your eyelashes
and you blinked our love into the ocean
who promised to hold it for all of eternity."
You never cease to amaze me, sis. How have I been able to live without reading your poetry for this long? I need to get back to it.
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i loved this, as always
i thought the beginning was really good. maybe how you wanted 'bark' to rhyme was a little off, but i did like how you used this line:
"i lit it on fire with our common spark"
the body of the poem was brilliant. it was so romantic -sigh-
the imagery was something i enjoyed the most here.
um. the ending. it was an almost flawless ending for this poem. not as, umm, impactful as i thought it would be. but still great nonetheless
thanks for this awesome poem
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