Destined extinction,
traveling across time's canvas.
A contest entry
- Picture Prompt by crivanea.
300 points, ended October 29, 2008, 38 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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hmm..that's sad...extinction..now that's a new word i haven't seen in this contest yet..true..and traveling..that's good..time's canvas...matches really well w/ the title..nice job w/ this
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Thank you for sharing
I believe that you are able to capture not only an image for the reader to exploit, you also present a dynamic element in three words, time/extinction/traveling.
The content is clear, time, like gravity, will ultimately win the contests of endurance. But you don't let the reader rest with that proposition, you add the movement of sand travelling. It struck me as adding a new dimension to the analogy of ages, from dust you come to dust you return. Cycle complete!
You have now broken the ice, no longer will you be able to hold back, so go for it in your style. If you dare, mess around with the notion in the Haiku form, e.g.,Sandku
across time's canvas
the sands of time travel
destined extinction
Thanks again... bj
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Comments
Thank you for your useful comments. As a novice writer it is so valuable to receive commentary from someone like you. I liked your haiku approach to the "Sands of Time." I am working on a couple of ideas and am considering trying a little haiku. You are an extremely talented poet (I have taken time to read through all of your postings on AP) and I know I will benefit from the kind of feedback available from experienced writers like you.
Iroquois
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I like this one...
Love the metaphor and imagery of time's canvas. Foreboding yet beautiful. I thought this was a very unique piece.
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