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Is this me ?

Is this me ?
I look at my self in the mirror,
I hate what I see.
I look at my wrist their covered in scars,
Im  angry and upset I just want to be free.
No one understands me,
they don’t understand how i feel.
They’ve hurt me so many times,
this time when I cut I wont let them heal.
My eyes are always blood shot,
I'm forever wiping away tears.
I feel like I'm forever screaming out in pain,
It feels like no one listening or cant they even hear.
I want to show my lover,
show her what she making me do.
She her the pain she conflicting on me,
when she tells me her and her gf are back together after saying that there threw.
I don’t know how to deal with it,
I cant stand all this pain.
I slowly slice my wrist,
as I stand crying in the rain.
I’m hurt and sad and want to be alone,
I want nothing to do with my lover anymore.
I want to end this all tonight,
I want to bleed to death and fall to the floor.
So I take my knife,
My only true friend in this place.
I cut my wrist it pours out blood,
no one will miss me i will just be one less person in the human race.

what do think? what make it sound stupid? were can i fix it?

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Dog Tag
    June 13

    Edit | Reply
    now this is dark. (as a poem) amazing i love it! nice work
    now i hope you dont feel this way. wish you well-


  • moonlitanime
    January 1

    Edit | Reply
    i really hope that these feelings are not your true feelings they are nasty things to say in public or ever in that case


  • PersephoneInWinter
    December 31, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    hmm we sound pretty similar judging by this poem. self mutilation is an addiction that im struggling to try and stop and im not exactly bi, but i like girls, i just like boys a bit better

    to improve on this overall, there were a few typos and you could have used more metaphors, but i love the raw emotion behind this.

    im gonna add you as a favorite


  • robynsapoet
    October 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    this is welll done

    i love how you don't care about sexuality
    and i love the line I feellike I'm forever screaming out in pain,
    It feels like no one listening or cant they even hear.

    your poem stll has a cuting theme but it is morwe suttel than befor

    the bit tha gets you pont across is when she tells me her and her gf are back together after saying that there threw.
    I dont know how to deal with it,
    I cant stand all this pain.
    I slowly slice my wrist,
    as I stand crying in the rain.
    Im hurt and sad and want to be alone,
    I want nothing to do with my lover anymore.
    I want to end this all tonight,
    I want to bleed to death and fall to the floor.
    So I take my knivfe,
    My only true friend in this place.
    I cut my wrist it pours out blood,
    no one will miss me i will just be one less person in the human race.

    now i am bi but i go more for boys i dont no why


    if you want to talk more about cutting or anything just ask and i will send u my msn

    love ronynxx


  • DeathWish Angel
    October 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    hi

1 - 5 of 5