Last night I lost myself,
inside a dead-eyed reflection,
whilst you smiled,
and spoke a language
my ears no longer understood.
Last night,
is now today,
a blank dream
stretching beyond
the scope of me;
and you.
Last night I loved
and lost and died
and you,
the constant
chaotic ocean
I navigated...
Crashed your waves
upon distant shores;
as I drowned
in your wake.
Author notes
3: Last night I...
A contest entry
- Line Prompt by crivanea.
300 points, ended October 28, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
This is lovely and I like the way you formatted the stanzas. And love the imagery of "the constant
chaotic ocean" - very good, poet.
-
it's a nice poem
i like it really!!keep composing!! -
wow..usually i am annoyed by poems like this..but i'm so impress!!!..i love the consistency..i love the personal touch..and although the verses are simple..i seldom read something so true..lovely job w/ this!..
Last night,
is now today,
lovely intro into ur stanza.. -
ok this is for a contest, but is it a personal write as well? i know sometimes when i enter a contest although im using a prompt i still use my real emotions and some events, past or present, to inspire me.
This piece just seem very real, it didnt seem like it was for show or to win a contest. if it is, then wow, that makes ur talent that much more awesome.
good write, i enjoyed it so much!
-
Oh, I like this thoroughly. It has a pressing feel, an urgency about it that pulls attention. Nicely written! Geo
-
beautifully written, good take with the given line
Good luck in the contest
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
