My skin is so -flawed-
but everyone knows
that through it all
my ribs s.t.i.l.l show
ONE pound too many
makes me lose all control
a victim of madness
{saved by -alcohol-}
i p/u/r/g/e away the pain
i s.p.a.r.k.l.e in the sun
yet nobody knows that
night brings /dys/fuction/
a -*star shines*- brightly
in the midnight sky
while i dream of being a model
and come up with new.lies
im a queen
a beauty pale and fair
thin like a feather,
and lighter than a i r
i hear music all the time
singing sweetly in my head
so what if im /skinny/
im not d.e.a.d.
Author notes
♥here are the words that i used♥
skinny
music
ribs
dysfunction
star
model
madness
beauty
glamour
sparkle
shine
purge
thin
air
alcohol
flawed
hope you like it
A contest entry
- [Thin.As.Air] by Dead Star--x.
525 points, ended October 21, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dirty Pretty Extravangaza! by Walking Oxymoron.
550 points, ended October 29, 2008, 17 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
did my muse come back?
Comments
-
WOW!
Just, wow.... Yeah... Wow.
So what if I'm skinny, I'm not dead.
I remember thinking insane thoughts such as this!
Amazing write here, I have to say...brilliant imagery, wonderful words.
Nice write. -
Yet
Oh its though you are penning thoughts often whispered so softly no one else ever hears from the ones starving to please the world with what they have been told is beauty . Bones have never drawn a suiter for each shall be healthy and happy not starving themselves to death
-
wow, this was very amazing. you captured this so nicely and it flowed very beautifully.
"i p/u/r/g/e away the pain
i s.p.a.r.k.l.e in the sun
yet nobody knows that
night brings /dys/fuction/"
reminds me of me. and the last line is so very true and a line which any one suffering of this might say. i know i myself have said it.
"so what if im /skinny/
im not d.e.a.d. "
great write. good luck in the contest.
~Madison~
-
lighter than air♥
I like the random punctionation that emphasizes certain words =]
good piece doll, its nice to see youre writing again
♥
Dead Star--x
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