It's raining in my head
A storm is rolling in
I need to find some shelter
Or i fear this will be the end
It's raining in my head
Would it be so bad to die?
I'll just take another pill
And then perhaps i'll try
It's raining in my head
I know I wont be missed
I grab the blades from my room
And I slit both my wrists
It's raining in my head
I can't think anymore
Everything starts to spin
And I fall to the floor
It's raining in my head
Im afraid it's going to flood
I don't know where Im at
My arms are covered in blood
It's raining in my head
I lay there in a daze
Trying to make sense of things
But I cant see through the haze
It's STOPPED raining in my head
The water's going down
But it happened just a little too late
Because I've already drowned
A contest entry
- Teen Angst by Perfect-Pain.
333 points, ended October 24, 2008, 52 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - { depression/ suicide} by Angel Eyed Baby.
702 points, ended December 22, 2008, 67 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
-
That's a very original way to look at it... rain inside your head. Nicely done and thanks for entering.
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Welcome to AllPoetry
The imagery of "It's raining in my head" really locks in the emotions one feels when they are battling suicidal thoughts
Very powerful write!
Best of Luck in the Contest
♥
Enjoy AllPoetry
Stay safe
~Manda
Site Greeter -
Welcome to AllPoetry
Hmm. The title, Rain, has been used so many times, I'm not sure if that alone will attract readers. However, I love the idea of raining in your head... reminds me of my favorite song but you may not know it and the idea has merit. I love the twist in the last stanza, that has a wonderful, deep message. You've made a couple typos - "I kow" should be "I know", and "sence" - "sense". Also, I would advice you to try to stay away from the blood-wrists-cutting cliches, they have been over-used and have lost most of their impact on someone who does not personally relate (and not all your readers will be suicidal). Just a thought. Your piece shows potential and I love the idea behind it plus some of the images. Keep writing
~Diana
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