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The Proposal

We spread a blanket by the sea
Exchanging glances pensively
I wondered if he was aware
Of feelings I held secretly

It was a time for us to share
And tell him just how much I care
We laughed at all the reasons why
That we two should be a pair

With him I can identify
As sure as stars are in the sky
I knew that I was made for him
Emotions I could not deny

I told him of my last love; Tim
How his untimely death was grim
He seemed to care and understand
Suggesting that we take a swim

He reached with love to take my hand
We ran across the evening sand
And changed my mood so I’d forget
A midnight swim that wasn’t planned

He never seems to get upset
And told me I should not regret
The things that happened in the past
To him would never be a threat

I knew my life with him would last
My girlish heart was racing fast
Our beach encounter changed my life
The stage was set the die was cast

He took my pain, he took my strife
He took what cut me like a knife
I offered him my very soul
And I will soon become his wife

 

 

 

Author notes

I was asked in IM; yes, it is all true.

Form: Interlocking Rubáiyát
The rubai (plural rubaiyat) is a Persian verse form. Each rubai stanza is a quatrain, in which lines 1, 2 and 4 all rhyme. The rhyme scheme interlocks stanza to stanza: aaba, bbcb. ccdc ...

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1 - 9 of 9

  • daviscth silver member
    October 21, 2008

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    What a beautiful love poem my dear. Congratulations to you both.


  • Elfin
    October 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful Amera, I have not seen this form before but I'll certainly have a go at it, I think its lovely. Good luck in the contest. Val


  • echo-ink
    October 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
    Congradulations Amera!
    This was beautiful and touching.
    I'm glad this one was happy!

    Love ya,
    Bell, xx

  • mrme gold member
    October 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    first of all congratulations. Very refreshing to read a true, happy, love story. secondly, thanks for pointing out your use of the rubiayat form. you've done an excellent job here. I think this is the first form poem that i've read in the contest. your excellent use of imagery almost made me feel as if i was an on looker on that beach.

    very nice job. thanks for entering and good luck.


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    October 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Aww.. gosh sis this is so lovely!! How wonderful to have found someone who can take away the past pain you suffered and offer you another chance at love. Congratulations hun!!!




  • Faeryn
    October 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Awww! How wonderful!! I'm so happy for you!!! Congrats!!
    The write is amazing and the emotion wonderful. The last stanza is my favorite.
    Love,
    Tay


  • StarEyes
    October 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    OMG!!!!!! How wonderful Sis! Congrats! I had a feeling What I was gonna find, and I was right! That is fantastic!

    Now on to the write, It is amazing! What a wonderful job you did on this one! I love it!

    Best of luck in this contest!

    and love

    Nyetta


  • MJ Donnelly gold member
    October 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    *sigh* Loved this, congrats... and all the best.


    mj.


  • cricketjeff gold member
    October 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful!


    Next to the content commenting on the accurate rhyme and meter seem so trivial. This is a perfectly and classically formed rubaiyat, the interlocking adds to the flow and the whole compliments the beauty of a real life love affair.

1 - 9 of 9