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Just for you.

All my emotions on show
    For you to play with
          Broken a million times over
                I'd come back for more every time
                      Burn me.  Break me.  Hurt me.  Kill me.
                              I'd come back for more every time.
So kiss me, caress me, just let me know
      If I can be your baby
          Soft eyes to ache my soul
                  Every touch, every whisper
                        I need you, I want you, I love you.

Author notes

Work in progress

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments


  • splinteroflight.
    October 31, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Incredible

    I agree with Lexi, the layout really enhances the whole emotional feel of the poem
    The use of "Burn me. Break me. Hurt me. Kill me." really helped the whole poem flow nicely.
    Well done on yet another lovely write, my sexy sex pot of sex!
    Loves you,
    xxxxxxxxxxxxx


  • alexandra.
    October 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Gosh, doll,
    you sound like a heroin whore.
    [but you're my whore, or am i yours?]

    I love the layout, it really reflects the emotion here. Very disjointed, very cutting &very evoking.
    I love it, but i can't see why you need to work on it more, it's beautiful already.

    <3<3<3