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falling down

Confuse the believer
plight of the dreamer
never meant to deceive her

time wounds all heals
I swear that's how it feels

we all pay the prices
bound to our vices

love, hate
love, hate, love
falling flat on your back
you can't help but look above

...but I forgot to forget

fell down the rabbit's hole
where innocence gets stole
feeling my soul getting cold

just an ember in the fire
the fire which I desire
the one whom I admire
got my head spinning like a dryer
falling down, AGAIN!... for a LIAR

catch me lover?

but she never so much as caught my name.

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Comments

1 - 22 of 22
  • nice, this poem sort of felt like a strange walk through your mind. I was listening to, Crane Fist by the band Rancid, and the song sort of created a weird vibe while reading this work. Nice write man, I look forward to reading more.


  • Mango Memories gold member
    October 15

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    God there is a BILLION things one could quote from this. Bravo!


  • Gods child40 silver member
    September 19
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    amazing and I love your homepage!!


  • Rick Weston silver member
    July 23
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    SO VERY FUN

    read this one and had to read it again this time out loud. love the way you turn the phrases and the ending is amazing. nice writing.


  • blueyez
    May 31
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    I love the way you ended this one! A wonderful read!

  • I like this poem because it made me think about many different things. Its a nice read. Keep it up!

  • catch me lover?

    but she never so much as caught my name.



    Love these last lines.
    had a great flow to this.


  • white stone
    April 2
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    "time wounds all heals"- That is some really nice word play. The last two lines are my favorite.


  • C.orruption
    March 3
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    Truly captivating. I loved the way you ended, makes you want to read more. Amazing poem!

  • blueyez
    January 6

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    ha! I love the way you ended this! Lovely job!
    peace and love


  • Yemassee gold member
    December 13, 2008

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    "but she never so much as caught my name."

    Which suggests that the thoughts my the speaker are one of delusion...that this desire is unrequited, always was so. And that is the game some play...they are in it for the moment, but when it is time to move on...they forget your name...so to speak. There is nothing worse (ok, I am sure there is actually) than being relegated to an also ran...a footnote...if even that, in someone's mind...though I think I did read a few hints that it may have been failures on both sides. Such is life.


  • rsugg
    December 11, 2008

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    Excellent!!!

    Very good write!

    The ryhme, ryhtem and flow is right on.
    Good job Jason.

    Wishing you many blessings,
    Robert


  • LilEmoPrincess
    December 9, 2008
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    an amazing poem! portrays the down fall of a relashonship well.


  • ConjurerCaptainTam
    November 15, 2008

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    Wow, how true it is that we are all falling in some way, down...

    we all have inhuman things pulling us downwards, whether that be pressured or simply a need, a desire that persuades us to reach downwards.

    And im sure many (including myself) have had a relationship in which we fall to far, to fast...and the other has not even noticed us.

    im touched.

    thank you-pleasure to read

    x


  • storiesuntold gold member
    November 15, 2008

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    Very good write here

    Yes often we reach far beyond as we are young only to find within the process of living and growing we mustnt reach too far for our minds are still changing and in this we often lose our way and fall too hard Great piece here


  • Elizabeth McCarter
    November 10, 2008

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    I think of them al I love thisone the best it pulls me,a nd makes me fel, its a wonderful pice of work, Thank You for Shareing It...


  • Leonura
    November 7, 2008
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    The endin' is like a whisper in the wind, yet full of heartrendin' emotions. Beautifully crafted.


  • Patpowers silver member
    November 3, 2008

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    Another fine effort here Jason...good expression and feeling conveyed. I enjoyed this work. The rhyme says it all!


  • reyna
    October 27, 2008

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    time wounds all heels
    i swear that's how it feels

    Right?! Why do they say time heals?? Obviously it doesn't , I like ur view on the subject.
    Ah well nice write


  • FaeryMouse
    October 23, 2008
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    nice write.....loved the flow of it.......And thank you for checking out my page...


  • Beautiful-N-Broken silver member
    October 17, 2008

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    ...but i forgot to forget

    fell down the rabbit's hole
    where innocence gets stole
    feeling my soul getting cold


    Love it!!!! Thanks for entering this contest and good luck!!


  • Painwarlock
    October 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this poem is quite powerful and some lines were abit silly but keep the work up it was deffinately a good read

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