I sail ahead it is said
Who knows where I am going
I am dead upon my bed
Yet in my head is this dread I am showing
Great Energy is moving me
Who knows where I am going
What will be I will soon see
I feel so free, anxiety is no longer growing
Now in motion in this ocean
Of Light, I see where I am going
Just like my notion in devotion
This lotion of light bathing me is The All Knowing
In a list
A contest entry
- Picture Prompt (Flight) by Sandygram.
600 points, ended October 22, 2008, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Honest Opinion?
Comments
1 - 40 of 40
-
Essentially beautiful...
Final Destination strikes my learning mind. Every line is golden... The closing line is composed with flawless brilliant cut diamond letters.
My critique goes to all that it my concern.
Why a wise Cat that teaches me, would meow around to scare a wild Cat?
If I punctuate this work, legally I become co-author.
Let it be known:
Definitions of punctuation:
NOUN:
The use of standard marks and signs in writing and printing to separate words into sentences, clauses, and phrases in order to clarify meaning.
The marks so used.
The act or an instance of punctuating. –American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language. CODA
Punctuation.
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.
Punctuation is everything in written language other than the actual letters or numbers, including punctuation marks (listed at right), inter-word spaces, and indentation.[1]
Punctuation marks are symbols that correspond to neither phonemes (sounds) of a language nor to lexemes (words and phrases), but which serve to indicate the structure and organization of writing, as well as intonation and pauses to be observed when reading it aloud. See orthography.
In English, punctuation is vital to disambiguate the meaning of sentences. For example, "woman, without her man, is nothing," and "woman: without her, man is nothing," have greatly different meanings, as do "eats shoots and leaves" and "eats, shoots and leaves."[2] "King Charles walked and talked half an hour after his head was cut off" is alarming; "King Charles walked and talked; half an hour after, his head was cut off", less so." CODA.
In English, as in any other language, there are rules that one must follow. In Poetry one must follow the language’s rules, and feel free to improve any branch of the poetic art; one has license to create around, change forms, styles and concepts, but one can never forget that Dadaism is not a practice of a Poet, for a Poet will never dishonor Poetry or the language.
Another disservice to the English language and Poetry are rendered by those that think that to be different and creative means to destroy the aesthetic sense of the artist; and their followers call it “free verse and poetic license”.
A poetic work is made of stanza, (s) and stanza is made of verse lines, which demand grammar in its general areas; for it is a must in Poetry and any literary work – with few situations acceptable, – when the verse requires use of Poetic License to improve the sound and the rhythm.
A Poet knows that “Free Verse” is not a composition without verse, grammar, and all language’s tools. “Free Verse” is a composition not subjected to rhyme and metrics, but that flashes up all that Poetry glows in art and science.
No matter what those that emulate dadaists and promote Dadaism think or say, poetic license is not freedom to assassinate the language.
Let us follow the true Poets – not the literati “NICE”.
In cooperative attitude, respect and admiration,
Andre Emmanuel Bendavi ben-YEHU, A.P.G.M.P.
-
I love how you rhyme so well. Always love reading your poems.
-
We all examine our mortality at one time or another its a natural place to visit. The faster we race down the the hill of age it becomes more of an issue. Sadly there's only one way to find out what lies beyond and there's no way back to spill the beans. tackled as it should be in a light hearted manor. Well Done
Cyber Artist
-
your verse almost reads like a guided meditation
that invites us to face the fear of death and see
it dissolve effortlessly in the light of the "all-knowing" ...
since I can clearly live this experience right here, right now,
it shows me that the bliss of "heaven" is omnipresent,
even before the death of the body ...
thank you for sharing your wonderful poetry with me
this morning,
much love
marion
-
Nice rhyming! I like the playfulness of the words juxtaposed against the serious of the subject matter. Delightful.
-
'lotion of light'-liked that a lot....
Hilly xxx
-
WOW! Breathtakingly Beautiful!!!!! I would like to think my final destination would be something like what you've described. Congratulations on the HM for a wonderful write. God Bless, Jo-Ann
-
excellent!
very deep and great rhythm and rhyme..and a great message too!
-
Thanks Ellis for writing this work. We are always what our final destination will be in our life time. This is a brilliant and creative work. Thanks again!
-
Very beautiful. Capturing a true God-incidence I call it. Well done.
-
I like the thoughts behind this as well as the nice rhymes. Nice work Ellis. Take care and Have fun. Steve
-
Something true
"Just like my notion in devotion
This lotion of light bathing me is The All Knowing"
My fav lines....I dont know why but i relate myself and my life to this line the most...
A short, crisp and mischievous poem.....you are really a good poet....will be waiting to see some more writes from your end
Love
Anshu -
"Notion in devotion, the lotion of light bathing me is The All Knowing"; I liked this. I think you could have done a better job of making this stronger, it didn't really catch my attention nor did the rhyming really excel...however, don't get me wrong; still a very good write. I've also read one or two of your other poems which I appreciated quite a bit
Hope to hear more!
-E -
Great write oldtimer i really liked it, i guess as u grow older u grow wiser, keep up the good work.
-
Beautiful
I don't really think there's is anything left for me to say that hasn't already been said.
I'm glad I stumbled across this poem, although I do not have much faith in God myself, I can still relate to the feeling of not knowing...
Wonderful poetry and I look forward to reading more.
Cirsten. -
wow sucha great write! well pend.
best of luck in the future.
andi
(redhanded) -
Witten by one who knows the Lord therefore fear not the unkown of the afterlife. A beautiful well written testimony of faith. God Bless, Jo-Ann
-
Wow, your word play, and rhyme, plus the flow makes for a very interesting write here...My first read of your work and I am very impressed!
-
Congratulations on the well deserved HM! You are at a wonderful place in your life where death holds no sting. Not all of us get there. I have no fear of death hence why I found this poem so akin to my own feelings!
Mariana
-
I agree with Catz. this is very provoking poem, making readers to ponder about themselves and their own ways. Actually, it always come too early.
~Sonja~
-
A thoughtful realisation you have crafted and shared with us showing the strugle and the notions behind the words of this great poetry..well done...
-
how lovely is this,makes you learn to really appreciate life.
-
A lovely write filled with spirituality. I enjoyed the carefree rhyme in this poem, but it also delivered a powerful message. Thank you for sharing.
-
A very well written and thought provoking poem, Ellis You've carried off the form quite well. But aside from that, you've reminded this reader that even as we get closer to our destination, we come to appreciating life and where we are now.
A profound write, my friend and a very good interpretation of the picture prompt
Dee
-
this is a very apt piece for me today we just heard that one of the little girls in our daughters class was killed last night, it has been a dreadfully sad day for us, but this gentle and profound reminder of the light of eternity, has made my heart a little lighter, she can dance for jesus now i guess
thankyou so much i really needed this
littlefishone
-
That is one journey I am looking forward too...but not quite yet! Dying is the last thing I'm gonna do!
Pam
-
No matter what life deals us we need to keep our hope and faith alive and keep moving forward toward the light. Beautiful write thanks for sharing and congrats on the Hm. hugs Theresa
-
A traveler on a journey of faith destined to reach your destination following the path of the Lord. You have penned the beauty of faith and the outcome of believing. I salute you and admire your uplifting spiritual outlook. God Bless, Jo-Ann
-
A drift in that rally often comes with ...... Anyhow your word made me wanna go their too.Love it ..
Susan -
Bon voyage poet! "What will be I will soon see" and it is all well where you are bound. This is a fine bit of rhyming, and you comfort the fear that many have. Best wishes.
-
Ah Ellis ...
you asked my honest opinion ... Well. it is so easy to give! This is a true and immensely important poem. It says to me that when the mortal being grows weaker, the promised Hand takes over; when the final journey draws nearer, the Co-Traveler takes the wheel ...
My honest opinion is that this is one of your most profound discoveries; real and true in its beauty.
Bon Voyage, Poet. Meet you There!
Love
Myra
-
I like the double rhyme you use
A lesser poet would confuse
It makes this poem sound very light
The splash of rhyme is O so right
So the motion in your ocean
Has a notion for commotion
So I have devotion to your rhyming potion
Love,
Amera♥
-
Faith
My faith is alomost nil . ButI think come my day I will hope I feel your words upon my soul.
-
Life is one long journey that is filled with many ups and downs along the way. A very uplifting poem.
Thank you for entering this poem in my contest. This was a pleasure to read this morning. Best of luck in my contest. Take care, Sandy
-
Exquisite progress. The beginning dread is not a necessary thing...It depends on the state of personal preparation, however, here it gives us three contrasting stages.
Very different.
-
This is a great poem on the picture prompt. At 1st I thought it was about something else, until I looked at the picture.
Good luck to you in the contest!!!
Hugs!
Cayla
-
missed reading your rhymes on ap for long time dear ellis. its very interesting and intriguing.
-
Reminded me of the manner in which Willy Wonka speaks; all in confusing riddle rhyme! I saw this picture prompt yesterday though, and you responded to it in a very interesting manner indeed! Am happy to see a new write from you also!
-
So happy to see a new poem from you!
Oh, this is one of your best poems, good Poet Sir! And I am confident that your next destination will fill you with well-deserved joy.
-
I am very moved!
This is beautiful Ellis. Best wishes in the contest. Give Tiki cat a hug for me. Blessings, Karen
Adding your comment:
1 - 40 of 40
