The feeling inside
Isn’t going to get any better
You see leaving you is doing you good
Though you may not see it
The hairs on the back of my neck are raised
As the goose bumps along my arms are
As the feeling builds in my throat
Two more minutes and then I can let it go
As I say goodbye
You stand there crying
Not understanding
Your innocence and child like emotions showing
How can you not understand
Can't you see its doing you good
I can't stand to see you standing there
With tears falling down your precious face
As I run outside
The waterworks start
As I drive off
Seeing your face in the review mirror
With tears falling down your rosie cheeks
Knowing I will never be able
To erase that image from my mind
Author notes
prompt: Axxis - Don't Leave Me (song)
A contest entry
- Many Few Random Prompt Options Contest by No longer in use.
600 points, ended October 23, 2008, 12 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
do you like my poem?
Comments
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Good job on the HM. My favorite lines are the last lines of the second and last stanzas. If you were to revise this, I would look at how many times you start a line with 'As.' Thanks for sharing your lovely poem.
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This is an exquisite poem. A very deep emotional write that brings tears to the heart. Very sad and I love it. Yay!!! Goosefrurabba!
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awwwwh Please don't leave me dear~!
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Ouch!
I know this feeling as I was divorced and did not get custody of my kids. WHEN she let me see them it was really hard to leave them crying. When I would call they would always ask when we were going to live together again. So sad in this world that our children must suffer our parents bad decisions, but they do. Saying that...I still would have divorced her! Just wish it wasn't hard on my kids. Fast forward 20 years and me and my kids have a great relationship, better than that of them and their mother. Tell them you love them everyday and in the end it will be better.(in this circumstance it did)
On your poem...it brings big feelings as you can see. A write that brings one to think is the best write by far. You poem is excellent! The Shaker
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