Thoughts I

"The most beautiful things are those that madness prompts and reason writes." ~ André Gide

I like this quote. Im not sure how others would see it or if Im misunderstanding but I KNOW I always feel more creative and there for more useful when Im miserable. I dont ENJOY being miserable but yeah....

And also some random girl in some other state whom Ive never met nor discussed anything with told me I was weird... she couldnt even spell weird...

I dont look weird?

Im a little compulsive.

I have terrible anxiety.

I cant sleep at night.

I cant focus on anything.

But she wouldnt know that...?

Ive also noticed that my life has been litterd with these strange little happenings that I recall in great detail.

When I was in grade school there was this red haired kid named Gary and one night his house burned down we werent friends but at this point where I lived everyone had grown up together so I guess it's close enough. The house stood there all burned up for like a year but no one really seemd to care.We never say him again.

Then in 5th grade there was a curly haired kid named Steven he was "dating" this girl I knew named Aaron. Then one afternoon he and this other kid named Jimmy who was this tall blond boy all the girls liked...well anyway he (steven) got hit by a truck and died. Then a few das after these kids were making fun of the his girlfriend saying things like she was "dating a corpse". I lost hope in my generation.


Then I moved from a relativly small mostly white area to an over populated city that had 2 extremes one was a bunch of really angry black kids and rich horrible miniature frat boys and snotty little girls with no minds of their own. I cant stand black males to this day. I developed social anxiety.

Then I went to New York City and in the train station there was this woman with one sandal and another random shoes on her other foot mumbling about something Im guessing she was upset about clearly she had gone mad a long time ago. I couldnt help but wonder about her life and what had gone wrong...she couldnt have always been that way...

I dont know....