I’ve written most everything
I could ever write to you
but you still don’t
understand
[I’m writing to stay awake
but I’m writing of you
because you, Alex, are on my mind]
I write of you
because I love you
I love you
because you’re you
[a hackneyed expression
but so true in this case]
I miss you
I can’t even explain
to what extent
I do
I carved your initials in my thigh
but I couldn’t feel a thing
besides the ache in my heart
because you’re too good
to ever be true
[how can I watch this movie
where all the people die?
I sympathies with them
for I, too, am dead]
do you feel dead, Alex?
like life is meaningless?
you said…
basically
that I was the best you’d ever had
but…
then why did you let me go?
why couldn’t you love me anymore?
what did I do so wrong
that all you could do was use me?
what did I do, Alex?
I don’t mean to sound
[pitiful]
but that’s how I feel
[pitiful]
because I can’t do anything
because I couldn’t do anything
to make you stay
(will I ever get well?)
[no
because I don’t want
to get well]
you knew that
didn’t you?
you knew it
before /I/ knew it
didn’t you?
I’m dead inside
aren’t I?
and you figured that out
and you ran
didn’t you?
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggggggggggggggg no dont let someone hurt u plzzzz cassie u are a wonderful person and truthfully alex was no good to anyone he had dated u deserve someone thats actualy going to love u as much as u love them i know that u love him but he is being a dick i loved ur poenm though
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i dont get it
not because im dense or anything...it just wont make sense
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Powerful and emphatic. So very personal I almost felt like I shouldn't have read it -- but you are such a good writer! I'm an old lady with a very different kind of pain, the slow progressive degenerative disease of my partner of 38 years. Sometimes I think it would be easier to bleed away than to survive and keep on keeping on... but that is my path. Do keep writing, and if you don't mind, I will keep reading.
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thank you...very, very much
and i would appreciate it if you would keep reading...makes me happy to have people that associate with what i write...makes me feel less alone...
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I ran out as you say because i was leaving, I couldnt let you keep thinking it was your fault cassie, You were the ebst i have found cassie. im sorry.
i know what eevr i say cant fix it so im not going to try. -
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but it WAS my fault...i wasn't enough for you to stay- stay here or stay mine....
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that was my choice. for other reasons
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yes, it was your choice, but i should have at least been signifigant enough to influence it- which obviously i wan't
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Ok, and if you couldn't influence him, there's no way you're ever going to. Accept it Cassie, and move on. Find someone who will take your influence to HEART-not to skin.
Love yourself and you shall be loved.
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I'm so sorry..........
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go listen to the vagina song
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i've heard it, hon...makes me blush furiously xD
love you!! -
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it makes everything better
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*laughs*
you're silly! -
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yup i am silly....
it keeps me sane....sort of if you can consider me sane.. i don't consider my self sane....im cold and sleepy and its that time of the month and all i want to do is curl up in a ball and sleep til its over
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but I couldn’t feel a thing
besides the ache in my heart
wow i know this feeling all to well doll, and erg it sucks in a way .
(will I ever get well?)
[no
because I don’t want
to get well]
once again..same here i know that a lot of the things i do i really shouldnt be and everyone wants me to stop and get ebtter and i say i want to as well but the truth when it comes down to it is i dont. as much as that may hurt a lot of people close to me i dont want to get better. kinda like you said erg im sorry about alex babe. good write none the less..xoxox
vanna -
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it's hard to get better.....
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