I will collect your scattered limbs from mountain’s lofty peaks
Your bones from valley’s crawling beds and spitting morning creeks,
The falcon I will beg your heart from yonder forest’s shroud,
Your nail the bear, your flesh the tree, your breath the flitting cloud,
And when the time will be to come to find the frailth of lips
I will beseech the blazing muse of sun’s assailing ships.
A ribbon clad in copper’s blood to bind the puzzle’s grace,
A golden thread of autumn rust to pour through silk and lace,
With cobweb tender filigree and yarns of glinting mesh
To patch the last of flaming skin upon the last of flesh,
In blinding awe of having thieved the vineyard’s only vine
To guide the chalice to your mouth and drip that one drop wine.
I will behold the rush of day inside the pale of cheek,
The glowing coal alighting stars inside the depths of bleak,
A whooshing tempest tearing chest to pennons beating wild
And fists unclawing into birds from love’s awaking child,
If death to die then wish I do when sparks your eyelids graze
And read I read of deathless love inside that burning gaze.
Author notes
yeah, mimiagatha
In a list
A contest entry
- Pre-Written Rhyme Anyone? No Trophies by piccola.
900 points, ended January 28, 30 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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If inversion is here I can't find it. Some poets offer critiques with no suggestion as how to fix it ... I'm looking and don't see the mistake. I think the write is beautiful
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I learned from another poet on this site whom I highly respect that language inversions within a line of poetry can sometimes mess with the clarity and flow of the thought. That is the case in a couple places in the last stanza of the poem. Example: "If death to die then wish I do". The rest of the line has in inversion as well, but I'm not against the occasional inversion for color.
On the whole, however, this is a beautifully written piece, and another of the few non-clichéd love poems I've read on this site. One minor typo is in line 4: I believe you meant "frailty" instead of what is there.
I very much enjoyed this piece. Thanks so much for entering my contest!
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my heart be still
Imagery abounds with sensual pleasures that fuel passion's pulse. ~~sigh~~
This is classy poetry my friend and a definate keeper!
May best to you, weaver of passion's web
Sandi 


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A very visual feel and expressed piece! Beautifully penned as well as entwined together! A fairytale read of a love comparison to daily outside surroundings! Well done! Keep on writing for you have lots to say, share, teach, and learn from yourself as well as others. -Night


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Oh. This is a nice little poem that you have penned in here.
It even has an old world kind of feel to it but I think that's because of the rhythmn and the rhyme of it. I thought it was very pretty and peaceful in the words. Lestways, that was my impression of it. You did a good job of expressing yourself here.
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good****
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I LOVE ITTTT!!!!!!!!!!!
god luck in life,,
Anagha-Nataraj -
incredible ... and as said elsewhere, an instant classic.


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Passionate in an intense, frozen kind of way ...
the slow stir of a churning want ... the beautiful, noiseless shout of tender, smoldering eruption.
I die for your life in love and art!
Myra


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You are indeed a word artist, my friend, and this poem once again shows why you're one of my favourite writers, poets, authors. Loved the intensity here...and who wouldn't want to be collected like this? Beautiful writing.
~ Nicolette


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Masterpiece
This one I will keep in my special book of everlasting poetry.

~Sonja~

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Sighhh...Utterly magnificent. Ethereal.
I'm even more impressed, even after having read your incredibly beautiful body of work for years. An eternal epic. An instant classic. A historically significant penning, in my humble opinion. Bear in mind I was a college librarian for over 12 years & have also been a completely obsessed Poet for over 35 years. lol
Bravo, my Friend. My newest favorite of yours, although they all are. Bookmarked.











