I scaled the mountains to feel your love
But just when I was about to reach the top
You failed to catch me when I slipped
You let go of me, and made me fall
My mind is spinning
I’m losing grip
I stray from love
Should’ve never trusted you
Now I’m walking in the pouring rain
I’ll open my soul to the fresh water
Let the drops wash away the agony
And mend my broken heart
The golden drops blend in with my tears
Turn my frown upside down
They shine light into my darkened heart
And warms my chilled heart
Rain becomes my only comfort
It makes all the painful memories vanish
And as I dance with the magical ripple
I realize you’re not worth my tears
Author notes
6-Walking in the Rain
A contest entry
- A Contest by luna-midnight.
700 points, ended October 19, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
-
W.O.W
you made such a beatiful poem and it should be known how you made such a pretty picture out a words
bravo
-
Quite a lovely poem. Beautiful imagery. I love the first stanza. I can picture this happening... heck, I have had this happen. You hit the nail right on the head with the emotion.
The only small... and I do mean small recommendation that I can make is to change one of the hearts into another word. Try soul instead of the first heart.
Other than that, beautiful.
-
Wow
This a good. I like this and thank you for the comment... I just thing would have worked out for me and the person whom I spoke of. She was major blessing to my life. -
wow
The imagery is beautiful and portrays the message beautifully.
I love how the story progresses and then turns into hope in the end.
The last three stanzas are gorgeous and I could almost picture this person taking away all her sorrow in the beautiful rain. Loved how this poem ended 
genius! good luck!! I will be watching you lol 
transit~
-
woah ranji. this si amazing, girl! i love the flow, the words, the simple magic in your words. the second stanza made the whole piece the best- it's short, simple and tied everything together. and love how you wlak in the rain and how sadness is just washed away from a soul- and i love how you expressed that!! is this what went through your mind when we ran in the rain coz if it did i am suddenly scared of you haha just kidding kiddo (ahahaha i called you kiddo!!!)
never mind.
i loved this simply!!!!! it is amazing. i love the ending girl it's perfect- everything from start to end.
lova ya, poetess.
-
Hmmm mhh, great, great write.
Love live the Rain.
Tal.
-
as always ever the magnificent poet you are.. ZzZz my mind is totally ablazed by such a wonderful write... every line seemed almost like a master piece goodness!.... the first line absolutely captured and made hungry my attention; ignited my desire to read more...
"I scaled the mountains to feel your love"
I scaled the mountains to read your poem
-
very, very good! a beautiful write! amazingly portrayed emotion, with a colorful blend of imagery makes this poem incredible. Its a poem i can relate to.... so it really got to me. thank you for this wonderful read.
-
Excellant
"Rain becomes my only comfort
It makes all the painful memories vanish
And as I dance with the magical ripple
I realize you’re not worth my tears"
Esp.Love these lines beauty scripted by your moments of pain
thank you for sharing
-
this is a great story, and very hopeful and optomistic in the end, thanks so much for entering and good luck
take care, Stephanie ♥
Adding your comment:
1 - 10 of 10
