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The Magic Ice Castle

Snow swirls around me
As I walk through the door
Of an ancient ice castle,
Filled with magic and lore.

I close the door behind me,
Against the blur of wind and snow.
I will not be leaving the way I've arrived,
Deep inside I know.

Now I turn my attention to the castle,
Of which I've sealed myself inside.
I step on the slippery ice floor,
And through frozen corridors I glide.

Every room is layered with frost,
And lined with crystal glass.
Everywhere I look I see
Signs that say 'don't trespass.'

I shiver with realization,
And squint at the castle's glare.
This castle doesn't belong to me,
So if I die here will it care?

I know with a start
That I must be gone.
The owner of the castle will soon return,
And I struggle to keep calm.

I cannot move,
For i'm frozen in place!
In panic my arms and legs
Flail listlessly in space.

I bite back a scream,
And fight back the fear.
The master of the castle is coming...
I must disappear!

Then out of the blue I'm back outside,
Where the winds still blow and blow.
Where the castle was a moment before,
There is only a bare patch of snow.

I blink in confusion and stare and stare,
For where did the ice castle go?
Then I shrug my shoulders and turn away.
How could anyone know?

Author notes

pensitivity's PIF contest - prompt option: snow dream. username: Coriander.

Contest by DirtyLittlePrincess: Option 5: Whatever you can think of Be creative

A contest entry

What is your favourite part? What would you change or improve?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Jaffa-
    November 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I thought it was awesome and very creative.
    My favourite part was
    ''Every room is layered with frost,
    And lined with crystal glass.
    Everywhere I look I see
    Signs that say 'don't trespass.'''
    You could feel the cold, see the frosting, feel yourself slipping. Amazing write, well done. Good luck


  • owlish
    October 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Thanks for following the rules! Great descriptions, "Ice Castle"...
    "I shiver with realization,
    And squint at the castle's glare.
    This castle doesn't belong to me,
    So if I die here will it care?"
    That's my favorite part, makes the reader feel small against that great icy magnificence...
    thanks for your entry!


  • Grey Mouser
    October 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very nice story and wonderful rhyme. A place that is here for a moment then gone, leaving one bewildered. Best to you.
    Mouser

  • PoetryPuppy
    October 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    thank you for your lovely poem, love Kiarna


  • XartistXinXhidingX
    October 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Good rhyme and rhythm. Amazing imagery. You have alot of talent.


  • Autumn Rain13
    October 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Oh My Gosh... I love this poem great imagary, and a wonderful ryhme and flow, Keep writing^-^

1 - 6 of 6