Mirage gold sigh shades on the sea
where white tints roll sound, over rocks.
Quivering, dark images flee
mirage gold sigh shades on the sea,
like ghosts, all yearning to be free
from eerie haunts, beyond the docks.
Mirage gold sigh shades, on the sea,
where white tints roll sound over rocks.
Author notes
My first triolet. I would appreciate a critique.
In a list
A contest entry
- Triolet PIF by carole21.
750 points, ended October 15, 2008, 8 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Haunting!
First off, I must say this had me captured from the start. Love the smooth flow, the imagery & the words you chose to create it. The rhyme is perfect & from the look & feel of this I believe I understand what a triolet is! Never heard of it before so I'm going to look this one up! Glad you won a trophy for this. It's a 
first! 
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Kathleen
Forgot about this one. Thanks for visiting and reminding me to try another triolet. I have written two more Pearlcons, Frans.
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carole21
Thank you very much. I enjoyed writing the triolet - thank you for introducing me to it and for the HM.
Frans
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Lovely Triloet
I can picture the sea with your great imagery. Takes me back to when I lived by the ocean in New Jersey. Nothing more serene then listening to the waves lap upon the shore. Love your rhyme too. A pleasure to read this morning my friend. Take care.
Bless You,
Sandy
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Wonderful
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I like this poetry form; actually I've done two myself and therefore I appreciate what you've achieved here. Very lovely images and rhythm to this one and since I live at the coast too I could really visualize the visuals and colours. Well done.
~ Nicolette
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Splendid first Triolet my friend. I did enjoy this haunting rhyme. Triolet is one of my favorite forms introduced to me by Ian Sawaicki (Individuality). A lovely way to use repetition effectively.
Nice work on this. ~Pamela
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Sehr gut! Nice imagery and you've mastered the meter with style and a gentleness of words... A wonderful first effort...
Ken
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nicely done . . thanks for the contest entry
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where white tints roll sound over rocks
i don't know much or ,to be honest, anything about triolets, but i loved it deeply, not much said to describe this moment yet the impact is made on me is remarkable! i've been away for a while, your poems always manage to remind me not to!
always a pleasure
Evanna
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Beautiful Triolet ...
not only mastering the structure, but also the prompt ... For: in the punctuated heaving of the sounds, the round yearning rolled over mirrored shades of sighs and light, the dark escaped from captured structures of stone buildings and boxed in rooms, yearning to be free as the ocean and wide, and opened up to the golden Sun ...
Excellent. I loved how this poem made me feel to free all the souls not only captured in darkness, but also in little boxes, on a coastline called life, lining the ever free Origin, called Sea.
Well done, Poet.
Love
Myra
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I thin the imagery in this is lovely but I am no expert on triolets or any form for that matter. I always enjoy your words. C
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Very very nice, I liked it.
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