I long for the touch
of you that will not
the sense of your presence
that was
the odor of your perfume
lingers
as I lay dreaming of
the return that never will be.
Winter is the time
when we stayed
together laughed,
loved and cried.
Now that cannot be
you’ve gone.
I sigh
Why did you die?
Author notes
Mylee
A contest entry
- I'm alone......are you? by movedon.
700 points, ended November 25, 2008, 103 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Thanks for reading the contest rules. This is yet another great write that fits my contest perfectly! I can tell this is going to be a very hard contest to grade. My situation isn't along the lines of death, but I feel with the pain, it might as well be. This is so heart wrenching and emotionally penned. Thanks for entering!
ing alone,
Mylee -
deepest longing are expressed in simplicity
and th ending is so heartwrenching which made the longing more intense
I love the suspense created in the ending...is sad though...
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Thanks. My stuff often ends sad
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beautiful, nonetheless
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i think the simplicity of this is what makes it so powerful.
the last line. sounds like its being asked by a child.
as if the world comes down to black and white, dead or alive, right or wrong....
that makes this piece so heartwrenching, because tragedy is so much more painful when its forced upon an innocent, simple being.
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Thanks!
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I kow the feeling Good write.
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Thanks
This one kind of wandered around for a while before I got the phrasing and the mood.
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