"Daddy, why do you hurt me?
I love you.
I even baked you a cake today.
Oh daddy, I hope you like it."
one of my past memories keeps on haunting me.
I was just a child, only five years old
and I walked into kindergarten
and everyone asked me why I had blue marker around my eyes.
‘raccoon face, raccoon face’ jeered all the little kids.
the teacher watched silently, doing nothing.
"Everyone was scared of daddy.
I don’t know why, he only yelled sometimes.
And he only pulled my curls when he drank
The smelly stuff called beer.
Oh daddy, why are you so scary sometimes?"
I’ll never forget it.
my tortuous past,
filled with hazy memories
of when my head hit the floor.
"Daddy told me
That if I told mommy that he hit me
He would kill mommy.
I loved my mommy, so I stayed silent
And nodded with wide eyes.
Oh daddy, I was so scared."
what was I supposed to do?
my mother meant the world to me.
she would comfort me when I told her
one of the bigger boys punched me at recess.
little did she know.
"One day daddy took me to see a movie!
We promised mommy we’d be back by 7:30
I was so excited, daddy didn’t drink once.
I was so proud of him.
He even gave me a ride on his shoulders.
Oh daddy, you’re the greatest."
I’ll never forget that cold December night.
the snow was falling, thickly around us
I helped shovel the driveway so we could go to the movies
in the old beat-up gray ford.
I remember being happy, ecstatic actually.
my father never took me out to see scary movies,
he would only yell and hurt me.
"Daddy, I’m scared, hold my hand.
What are you doing daddy,
I don’t want to sit on your lap.
I’m a big girl now I can sit by myself.
Why are you taking my skirt off daddy?
We’re at the movie theatre, it’s dark in here.
Daddy, why are you touching me there?
What is happening.
Why are you doing this to me.
Oh daddy, why, daddy?"
the movie theatre was empty.
no one wanted to see the new scary movie.
I was in the middle of one though.
"Daddy stop, cant you see I’m bleeding?
Why are you hurting me?
What if mommy sees you hurting me?
Oh daddy, please, please stop."
I remember crying, I remember the hurt
I remember,
remember everything.
we went home that night at 7:30 on the dot.
I was crying,
he told my mom the movie was too scary for me.
what a liar.
"Daddy, you said you loved me
I loved you too
You even promised me an extra special birthday present
But I still remember how you made me bleed at the movies.
Oh daddy, I’m scared of you daddy."
my birthday came and went.
no surprise that my present was another trip to the movies.
but I didn’t know it at the time.
"I feel so dirty daddy and all yucky inside
I really don’t want a birthday present anymore
Oh daddy, Please daddy, can we go home?"
my and my mom soon went to live with my grandma
I haven’t seen my dad since.
I finally got enough courage to tell my mom
and he went to jail for a very long time.
but the voices still haunt me
everything haunts me.
you’ll never leave me alone, will you.
In a list
A contest entry
- Truth Or Dare by HereComesTheSun.
450 points, ended October 16, 2008, 20 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Scars Of Memories (Victims of Rape and Abuse)... by voodoo ink.
875 points, ended November 20, 2008, 28 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
-
omg i love this. my father used to abuse my mother every night. sometimes twice. i was always so happy that he never hit me but once and he never hit my sisters. all these years i have wondered how it was that i could have been the one that got away. me and my sisters. we are no better than the children who are or were beaten or sextually abused. sometimes i feel bad that i was saved. i am no better than u are. or any of those other kids that get abused. im so sorry.
-
amazing. i love you so much. you know i can always come to you for a shoulder to cry on. and i promise that i will always be there for you too, love
-
Truly heartbreaking.
-
so sorry you had to suffer when the abuser is someone you loved and trusted it must of been a nightmare even though hes gone its must of been hard at the time carring all that guilt part of you hates him yet part of you will remember when you were daddys
-
There is only one cure for sick bastards who would take away the innocence of a child and scar them for life for their own form of twisted pleasure. A bullet in the head...NEW LAW....No Repeat Offenders! It's time to clean up this planet once and for all!!! Gone!
Sorry you had to endure such a horrible experience...Hopefully time will heal and make you stronger
: )
-
Words of the untold wisdom
Life is a never ending journey, descent into hell for some while others lurk in the corners and in this case the heart of a young child.
How could one do this and not feel remorse, not feel like crawling into a hole and dying!
It is a brave thing you did to finally speak out and tell your story, I wish you only the best and please do keep writing.
It is sometimes hard to read these moments of truth.
I like it, I like it so!
-
This makes me so sick and angry and just breaks my heart how someone could do this to an adult, let alone a young child...I was raped by a so called friend as an adult, so I can somewhat feel your pain and feel the dirtiness you felt, when it happened, but it wasn't our fault, some people are just sick in the head...
-
Wow...this poem made my stomach churn,i saw every piece and it was not a beautiful thing to behold,it makes me sick there are people out there who can do this...physically sick...You are right though people should tell someone if they ever go through something like this...even if it's hard it certainly won't be as bad as what they go through now....Holy i can't believe you wrote this,you clearly have heaps of talent...This piece was written so vividly like you actually went through it...amazingly penned...I am blown away...that poor little girl...but there are so many out there like her,and you've given them all a voice with this...Too often people don't want to believe that things like this really happen but the tragic thing is they really do,and it kills you inside to go through it or hear about it because it should never have happened,it just isn't fair...
-
fild, should fucking burn in hell... excuse my language but glad your father went to jail he deserved it always here if need to talk glad you had the strengh to say, that's part of the cure. Beautifully wrote, love you Emucking bastard who could do this to a young child
love you emma xxx -
That made me cry. I suggest perhaps putting the voice of the five-year-old self into quotation marks.
-
I see myself on this screen.
♥
-Mary -
Wow..powerful.
very good.~
-
incredibly powerful. made me cry!
-
woww
i love the style you choose i mean the way you wrote this from memory to a comment it was very well done, i love the take you took but i did add it was about schizophrenic and that was not taken as it was part of the prompt but other then that
great great great work
-
-
it is about schizophrenia.
well, that's what I got when I read it
and I didn't even realize that was the prompt while I was reading.
the italicized parts are the little girl (second personality) I think.
-
-
ohwhatthefuck
I'm crying :|
and poems never make me cry.
fuckkk this is so good emma
I don't think you understand
but wow.
I have no words.
Adding your comment:
1 - 16 of 16
