Im sorry to have made you so sad,
id like to say its all not your fault,
but your the reason i am so mad,
youve caused me all this insult.
My heart feels soo full,
my soul wont stop its crying,
my cuts dont fit with soicities rule,
and my mind wont stop its thoughts of dying.
Everyday just feels the same,
and I see your cold eyes stare through me,
my body is tainted with shame,
and I wish all hope will leave me.
I just dont see the point of it all,
and I just wish someone would care,
I no-longer want to feel this small,
all I want is to be out of here.
A contest entry
- Make Me Feel Again.... by PerfectImperfection.
900 points, ended October 14, 2008, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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Welcome to Allpoetry
This is effective. I like the way you say that the cold eyes stare through me... so often have we all felt this way.
Poetically, perhaps there is no need for a comma at the end of every line. Just a thought.
Welcome to Allpoetry
I hope that you enjoy the site, and if you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask
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This is certainly a pained and expressive piece. I feel it could have been polished a bit, as far as typos and tense, though still a nice write with potential. Thank you for your entry & Best wishes in the contest!
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