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my reflection

I peer into the mirror,
with crickets singing loud.
All I see is failure,
with this I am not proud.

I see some good desires,
a heart that loves to love.
But frost is closing in...
Im losing my love thereof.


I peer into the mirror,
as the crickets end their song,
my friends, well they surround me,
my reflection comes a long.

It seems much brighter to me,
as the mirror shows success.
I see joy and glee,
and blessings in excess.



Author notes

I think our reflection can change depending on whos around. Depending on what were focused on. When Im alone and not focused on God and I just look at life, I tend to be very down on myself. But when my friends are around, well, their just good people. I see Gods love in them, and it helps me. So theres both sides :-P

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • SeptemberFaith
    October 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really like this. I think that you express the idea you are trying to share very well and I enjoyed the short lines and the rhyme (and I usualy am not a fan of rhyme).

    I agree.. at different points in our lives we are different people when we look in the mirror and sometimes, we dont see who we really are, we have things fogging our minds, evil clouding our judgement and we are showed a false self the devil wants us to believe is who we are. That is how he gets to people, by making them feel down and weak to his advances.

    I believe in God, but am no saint

    Great job poet,
    Criss


  • colie50
    October 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Great write Ben! It's very...you. And we will definitely surround you!

    Something about the line "I'm losing my love thereof" sounds a bit awkward, but it's not so bad. Goodness knows it's better then when I try to make a phrase rhyme
    I love the last two lines! They're my absolute favourite.


  • Patpowers silver member
    October 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Nice work on this one wolfwatcher. I liked how you expressed your self. THANKS!!


  • thejollytinker
    October 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful sentiment; you made me think that sometimes our friends are better mirrors than glass. Hey, just a little maintenance- you dropped the apostrophe in Im and along is one word. Good stuff, sorry to nitpick!


  • wolfwatcher
    October 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    thank you :-)


  • BlackBloodyRose
    October 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this sounds alot like what I just wrote and i like it. VERY nice!

1 - 6 of 6