In the darkness is a shadow,
I've known it all along,
But I shouldn't speak to others,
About it since it's wrong.
An ancient law forbids,
That it ever leave my lips.
But who ever said,
That I couldn't give you tips?
It's evil and it's sly;
Let's say that it is I.
Do you need another clue.
Would it help you to get by?
Well, the serpent need not coax me,
For I know my own way to hell.
I'm wicked through and through,
Is it that difficult to tell?
It's tempting and destructive,
It's dangerous to boot.
Have you still not guessed it, darling?
Why do you still sit mute?
It's fun and of the flesh,
Though addicting, just a bit.
Have you still not found the answer?
Then I guess I will admit!
You see, the darkness is your soul,
And the shadow is my will.
Together we'll have fun,
Until you've had your fill.
So let us, you and I,
Have a little toast,
Before I have to pay,
The toll of my outburst.
A toast to fools like you,
Who I need not to pursue,
Did I neglect tell you,
That I'm wicked through and through?
The serpent need not coax me,
For I know my own way home.
The Devil is my name,
And hell is where I roam.
Oh, and one small thing-
I forgot the toll.
Did you not know,
It was your soul?
Author notes
I used number 1: "The serpent need not coax me,
For I know my own way to hell."
A contest entry
- Those That Never Were by Rashida.
900 points, ended November 7, 2008, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Let us take on the Domain of HELL....all metaphors welcome! by ears2hearyou.
1200 points, ended November 7, 2008, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your favorite by whispernthedark.
790 points, ended November 7, 2008, 56 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - For Anyone but Especially The Library Group by Library Piggy Bank.
400 points, ended November 3, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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clever write! I like the rhyme and the flow is pretty good too.
I didn't get the part about the tips but not to worry I'm not the brightest crayon in the box. Thank you for entering -
Great take on the prompt, love that last stanza. Great write, thank you for entering the contest. Good luck.
♥
whisper
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Applause-Applause-Applause!
well done!
my goodness.....you balanced it perfectly,
and we could certainly relate...to the shadows
that stalk our gates...in the daily decisions that
we make or dare I say self-medicate.
so clever....i loved it!
well done poet!
ears/Seattle.
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Awesome, I like it, its very cool. My favorite is definitely the second to last stanza!!!
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I agree with Jaymy about the rhyming scheme not flowing smoothly in some places, but its such an amusing take on the quote I'm willing to forgive a little awkwardness. If you want to do a little reworking, go ahead, or leave it as it is.
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I like this. It's a very literal take on teh quote, and it works out well. not a bad rhyming scheme, although it seems like you may have forced it a little bit in places. Overall a solid effort. Good job!
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