delicate reasonings left me swaying in your persuation
I trusted that you would do right by me
and did not protect my vulnerabilities
cautious to the wind the blows in your direction
I smirk and cross the barriers, oblivious to destruction
that is cast within
my back arches to the breeze
and I feel accomplishment,
even though it's in subservient tones
I want to soak up your atmosphere
and spread your generosity,
instead I am choking on your exhaustion
and spreading your disease
Author notes
Jealousy by manips-of-artist2 <== NOTE: if you do not do this you will be DQ'd
In a list
A contest entry
- Pretty Picture Prompt # 22 by kiwigirljacks.
600 points, ended October 13, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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As you know, Im not a great fan of pic prompted poems a
but here i rather like the following
my back arches to the breeze
and I feel accomplishment,
even though it's in subservient tones
I want to soak up your atmosphere
and spread your generosity,
instead I am choking on your exhaustion
and spreading your disease
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Ahh I have surely been here! This is a great write that has subtle darkness woven in it!
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I enjoyed the turn at the end here, nice splash of darkness. You've portrayed your emotions well, very neat read. Thanks for entering and good luck
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Last stanza really kicked, with the contrast and intesity of the words. Nice!
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Picturesque!
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Darn... so many strong writes!
Wonderful imagery and a great interpretation of the prompt... Well done and best of luck...
Ken
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Simply stunning. Powerful and wonderfully done. I wish you the best of luck my friend.
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VERY VERY NICE! I love this poem. Your description and words are perfect. I hope you do well in the contest.
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Wow, this is a wonderful poem...I especially like the last two lines:
instead I am choking on your exhaustion
and spreading your disease
Great job and good luck in the contest!
Adding your comment:
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